Pregnant and he left?

My x boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a couple years now. We moved in together a week later I found out I was pregnant. Things changed we both became stressed out ( this was not a planned pregnancy ) realizing more and more we don't have money to support ourselves let alone a child. At the time I was the only one working while he stayed home looking for jobs.He has a 5 year old child from a previous relationship that ended when the child was 1 because she was abusive to him. 4 months into my pregnancy we became very distant I felt like I couldn't trust him. From things I found on his computer like porn sites and personal ads.and he felt he couldn't trust me from snooping on his computer and lying to him about it. He ended our relationship because he doesn't want to be in one where he can't trust the person. I understand and I feel the same way. Now I moved home and gave him money to get a apt. on his own.Now that ha has a job and we talked about working things out before he moved in to his apt. Now that he is there we barely talk. He doesn't have a phone to call, He doesn't come around. I don't know what his deal is. He won't give me his apt number. I don't understand if he wanted to work things out why is he being so distant? we are having a child together he has only been to 1 doctors apt. because he "has to work" for all the others. I don't know if he is giving me the run around or just needs space. I really want to make things work and build the trust back in our relationship but I'm not sure how when we don't even talk. When we do its over Instant messenger and I get emotional because of how hurt I am and being pregnant doesn't help all we end up doing is fighting. I am able to support my child but would hate to fall into the statistic of another single mother. I love my child's father very much and want to make things work. I guess I just need an outside opinion on what I should do to make things better between us.


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  • Women's intuition is usually dead-on. There was a reason you checked out the computer..something was telling something smells funny. This man is turning around the situation making you look like the one who is at fault for snooping. Even though it may have been wrong to snoop, he is guilty of looking at women or looking for another woman. Leopards do not change their spots. Are you sure the ex-wife was abusive? Have you ever met her or spoken to her to find out if he left her the same way? This guy doesn't even want to give you his apt number and he cut off communication. I would not count on this guy to be around to support your child. You may have to take him to court to get that. So you really need that apartment number. Does he contribute toward the 5 year old? Does he visit that child? This will give you an indication of what is most likely going to transpire. First things first, you need to take care of you, your health and the baby. He may come around eventually but he is not a man...not a man at all to leave you in this situation. I would take this time out to re-think this guy. Will he make a good dad? Is he a good dad to the 5 year old?

    • I have met his x girlfriend a couple times and she is pretty crazy. He is really good with his son actually he pays his child support and they have set up different days when he or she will take him. I've been around him when he is with his son and he is a great dad. that's kinda why I don't get what's going on. He told me it killed him not having his childs parents together when he was with her. Now he's doing it to another child. Also he thinks I will stalk him that's why I don't have his apt. number

    • "Stalk him?" That tells you he doesn't want you to be a part of his life. This guy is really off. Maybe down the road he will want to reconnect with you to see the baby but for now you should somehow get that apartment number because you may have to file for child support. He didn't marry the ex-girlfriend. She may be a little crazy but I was wondering if he up and left her the same way. I was looking for a pattern.

    • Something isn't right. I wouldn't stalk him I don't know what he's thinking. With his x she thought he was cheating on her and beat him up the cops we called and she left his apt. he took her back then realized he can't be with her ( he wanted to make it work for the child ) he didn't want his childs parents to not be together. soon after that he signed up for the marines.i don't understand why he is doing it agian to another child of his because I know how strong he felt having the parents together

  • Consider adoption :)

    • Thanks but no thanks, I have more than enough support and funds to take care of my own child without having to give it up for adoption. I just want the father of my child in my life as well. I would hate to fall into the statistic of another single mother

    • Good to know.

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