Is it just me or ending a long term relationship hurts like someone died?

My 4 year old relationship ended and since it was sudden and without a warning I can relate the pain to as if a family member died in an accident. Anyone ever felt the same?


0|0
1817

Most Helpful Guy

  • breaks up. always is hurt, always you feel your heart is gonna to explore, and the hurt just dosent go away , its take time, its take long and you are not the first person and not last person who got hurt, its normal you feel it, and hurt dosent go away so fast , just try, to see the point i know you never forget this time, you never forget this hurt, but someday you will be thanks god that something like this has happened, because that day you know you are in right place and you have find your true love, and that day you are stronger than today , and you will laugh and smile, and you will breath deeply and you will close your eyes, and you feel all energy and all happiness in your heart :)

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, because even if someone didn't die, something did die: the relationship, the hope, the dream, the companionship, the connection and bond, and more. For me, even when they're shorter relationships, as long as my feelings and thoughts were invested, it hurts like a deep loss. It feels like living in a black cloud of grief. Complete depression, and I can't eat well.
    Just imagining what it feels like as I wrote this, makes me want to cry.

    The worst are the first two to three weeks post breakup.
    What happened to you? Stay strong. No contact is necessary for your case.

    1|1
    0|0
    • My divorce blindsided me like nothing I'd ever knew. For the first 3 months I had that feeling in my stomach like I was falling (like you get when you drop on roller coaster). It took me 5 months to finally keep going forward and not face backward. I likened it worse than a death. At least with a death, there is a finality. An end point. That person is gone and their life stopped at a certain point. With a divorce you end up having to deal with that individual for months, if not years on end.

      Your point describes exactly the feelings I had during that time. I've since remarried and am happier now than ever.

    • Divorce is awful for most, especially when betrayed or blindsided. @Goforit1010 I'm glad you remarried and are happier than ever! I hope this gives hope to others and especially to the Asker who is going through this grief. Thanks for sharing your story.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Yes i do agree cause when your with someone all them years you are used to them
    ex: Just like my aunt & uncle was together since they were teens and nearly 40 +
    years of marriage and he passed away 3 years ago it's not easy and my aunt
    will never be the same..

    1|0
    0|0
  • Some people don't know what to do with themselves after a breakup cause that person was their entire world, and in my opinion this can wear on the partner and cause the breakup in the first place. Always try to have your own hobbies and interests so you don't smother your partner.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I lost my father to cancer when I was 18, and no losing a partner who was there for a few years is not close to the grief of a loved one who was always there leaving this world, I know from experience and can tell you that comparing the two is an insult almost.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Probably yes, because your world as you know it is torn apart, and feel like the past was a waste of time, and the future you planned is nonexistent.

    But there is no such thing as a relationship that ends "suddenly without a warning".
    Well, maybe, but that'd just mean the other person is a very good actor and is very good at hiding their dissatisfaction with the relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So why you break up in the first place?

    0|0
    0|0
    • He broke up with me... Couldn't do anything about it...

    • Show All
    • Nope. We were planing on a vacation, he seemed very excited about that. Then few days before we were supposed to go he just said he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore because he is not sure if he loves me anymore.

    • This guy is crazy..
      And i don't think he really mean what he said
      So all that happened yesterday or two days ago or?

  • I was with someone for 7 years it takes at least half the time you were together to get over it. Me it took 3/4 years to fall for someone. Once in a while you think of them an you smile at a moment you shared , in the end it happened for a reason an you have to use it to learn from. For when that right person comes and you'll know when they do cause you'll have those same butterflies and honestly you'll just know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • when I was younger.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes, it is recognised as a form of grief.

    Essentially, the entity that was the relationship has died.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It hurts really bad but I dont know if it's the same pain as if someone died

    1|0
    0|0
  • They're both a type of loss, so that makes sense.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know how you feel, what I went through was very similar to stages of grief and loss.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It hurts as of someone is tearing you in two, within fourteen days your psyche will un-merge the parts of your old significant other that meshed with yours, it will lessen in time and eventually the pain will not come when you think of them.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ummmm, I don't know bout putting a time frame on that... everyone's different, the healing time cannot be guesstimated in my opinion, you let go and move on when you've mourned to acceptance, however long it takes varies from person to person depending on their strengths and coping mechanisms

  • I don't believe girls feel this pain since they have no hearts

    0|1
    4|2
  • it was 8 years for me and that was 3 years ago and it still hurts...
    hug.
    feel what you have to feel dont keep it in, there's no right and wrong here

    1|0
    0|0
  • What did you do?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Nothing I'm aware of... He said that he lost interest and that he wants to be single...

  • No... not just you... it's a real trauma. Some are completely paralyzed by it or become suicidal, homicidal or both...

    3|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 17

  • Yes, that's exactly what it's like. It's because when you're with someone for so long, you get used to them being a constant in your life. Most breakups result in no contact so it can absolutely feel like a death. And just like a death, it takes time to grieve that loss.

    3|0
    1|0
  • My divorce was more painful than anything else I've ever experienced. It was a loss of a person I loved dearly, it was a loss of my plans for my future, and frankly it was a loss of my own self-righteous view of myself as "not the kind of person who would get divorced."

    3|1
    0|0
  • My previous relationship ended after five years when he cheated on me, I was so in love with him, it hurt.
    He shattered my heart, destroyed myself confidence and left me feeling numb for months.
    Then three years ago I met a lovely man, my current boyfriend who I will love till the end of time.
    The pain of a break up can be devastating, but at least you can move on, be happy again and forget the scoundrel.

    I will never completely get over the death of my mother from cancer, neither will the pain ever go completely, I will miss her for the rest of my life.

    I hope that puts my thoughts into some kind of context for you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes, i get what you mean.
    They've been a part of your life for so long - and if it's not the same anymore then it becomes weird and strenuous.
    And when the relationship ends - it really IS like someone disappeared from your life - because they did.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a very similar process. Break ups may be harder sometimes because a lot of the time you're dealing with different emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) whereas with a death it's usually just sadness... either way, they both require grieving.

    0|0
    0|0
  • totally agreed, HATE to say it, i probably dealt with a breakup worse than a family death xx

    1|0
    1|0
  • Oooooh Yea. No doubt, and apart of you does essentially die

    0|0
    0|0
  • you are not the only one :/

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are not alone. Most people who end long term relationships experience the same pain as they do when a loved one passes away. We go through the same grieving process because, essentially, what has happened, is that this person we grew to love has "died" in our lives. Meaning that they cease to exist in our daily lives the way they always had. Whats important is that as painful as it is, you need to allow yourself to grieve for a little while and make your way through the 7 stages of grief. if you try to half ass it you will end up stuck in a stage or toggling between two, and not only does that drag out the process, it isn't good for you or your future relationships. It sucks but you will survive and thrive!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I never been in a long term relationship so I don't know the feeling. However, I do know acquaintances that are girls who ended long term relationships and they moved on rather quickly. I think it depends on the person. I think everyone is different

    0|0
    0|0
  • Can definitely relate. Break up is one of the worst feeling in the world. I can't sleep, can't focus, can't eat, my heart was in so much pain like someone stab me physically and I can't do anything about it. So sad.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course it is normal

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes feels like something just died inside of you... that something is called trust... because after such an incident believing in love and that someone will be honest with you becomes just a doubt... such incident changes a person who truly loves someone

    0|0
    0|0
  • YES. It's so hard. I am the one who initiated my breakup and it doesn't make it easier because I keep questioning if it was the right thing, if I've made a big mistake, I've been so sad and lonely and I know I did this to myself. I also hurt someone who I really love and care about- he's with family now so he's not completely alone, unfortunately I am... but I just keep thinking that I deserve this horrible feeling. It's complicated why we broke up but it hurts like that. Because someone did die, the people we were together, as a couple. He says we'll still be friends, have each other in our lives, but it's not the same. It's nowhere near the same. I've had breakups before but this one is worse... because I love him and I am just watching it fall apart and sometimes it all feels like a big mistake.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it's very painful and heart breaking.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can relate. And it is totally normal.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can relate to this, but I assure you- things get much easier. For the first two weeks or so, I thought my life was ending. 6 months down the line, I'm with another guy who makes me unbelievably happy and I haven't given my ex a second thought. Things will be fine xo

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...