Do guys ever jump into a new relationship quickly because they're hurting?/to try and get over their Ex?

My boyfriend and I broke up impulsively and out of anger. I first broke up with him because we got into a huge fight---but then a few days later, I called him & tried to talk it out and he said he loved me very much but agreed we shouldn't be together because we fight too much. He was scared one of us would get in trouble. He tells me he couldn't see himself with anyone else, loves me very much etc. He was begging me not to leave the night I broke up with him, but I did anyways. So this was a month and a half ago... and after our phone call, he just completely ices me out. Doesn't call, text, respond to me/nothing. Last week I see on Facebook he is in a new relationship. Wtf? One part of me says he was so hurt by our breakup , and he misses me and still loves me but knows we can't be together so he is throwing himself in a relationship with the first girl who gave him attention after me (she's not his type/not that pretty or fit) just to get over me. The other part of me says he just got over it, is an asshole & a liar and never really loved me nor cared like he said he did. And he is just some type of womanizer. HELP---what do you guys think? Is he rebounding hard or simply just OVER ME?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No i would never jump into a new relationship cause i was hurting

    He sounds like a rebound

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people jump into relationships too quickly, without even thinking. And then they wonder why did it end so sudden. If he really is already in a new relationship and is actually happy and in love with her, then I would say he got over you, is an asshole & a liar and never really loved you or cared like he said he did. He probably got into a relationship with you also without thinking. But it can also be just a rebound. But then again why put a relationship status for a rebound and that quickly? Makes no sense. If a guy who I was seeing/dating for less then a month wanted ALREADY to make it official, I would smell something fishy honestly, that guy can't really be trusted. I would make if official maybe after like 4, 5 months, if I was really aiming to find a serious relationship. My ex and I broke up 6 months ago and we were together for 3 years. And I haven't even kissed any guy yet lol! What I learned from our break up is that I will never jump into things again so fast. Especially not put it on FB where I know he can see, that's like so disrespectful. And I really did love my ex. So my guess your ex never really loved you and doesn't give a shit anymore. That girl probably made him put it and he just put it because he doesn't care if it's official or not, he is leading her on - probably the same thing he did to you.

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    • Yeah he told me he loved me after like 3weeks of dating me lol. And wanted me to move in after only 1 month. In the back of my mind, I knew there was something fishy---but I just ignored it because it felt so "passionate" and I was really into him. Looking back, there were red flags everywhere! And now that he is already in a new relationship SO QUICKLY... makes me believe it is just what he does. I don't think he's capable of having real feelings for anyone cause he is so miserable with himself. He is just a user. It's actually quite sad. Just sucks... wish I ran far away in the beginning :(

    • Yeah I know, I've been there. Easy comes easy goes - that's really really true. I learned the hard way. If a guy wants to move forward so fast and is acting freakingly in love right in the beginning, that usually means that that guy has 0 experience and is probably gonna freak out and bail when those fluffy feelings change. He's not gonna know what is happening. And the worst thing about it is that he is not even gonna think about it. He is not gonna sit and have a real talk to himself and look deeper and try to understand stuff. Instead he is gonna just take a bottle of beer, watch some game, be lonely and miserable by jerking off on porn, and then find another girlfriend. Then he is gonna think life is good again, until the same shit happens. And so on in circles. It's just the type of person. They don't bother thinking. They live from day to day. It is very sad and shallow life if you ask me. They end being very miserable and they don't understand why.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Unless he has been cheating behind your back while you were still with him he will not be emotionally ready for someone new. If he was cheating on you then you now know why he moved on. You would be wise to do the same.

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    • No he wasn't cheating.

  • Sometimes its to forget the other person. Sometimes its just a way to make them feel better. Other times it's just to be in a relationship.

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  • usually not. usually i´d say most guys will fuck around untill they´re over it.

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  • ... You broke up. if he tried to find another girl it's a sign that he loved you

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    • Why do you think that's a sign that he loved me?

What Girls Said 5

  • There are people who jump from relationship to relationship without being over their previous one or to make themselves forget. There are people who move on quickly once they are finished a relationship. Doesn't mean they didn't care about the previous person. He may genuinely like and care for this girl even if you think he is rebounding simply because you think she is not his "type". Honestly, it really doesn't matter. The relationship is over and whomever he chooses to date is none of your business. You need to concentrate on moving on yourself.

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  • In my personal opinion, it takes time to get over someone. It just sounds like he rebounded as fuuuck. You guys were in a relationship and you cared for one another very strongly for a long time. Yes, the relationship turned sour, but that doesn't mean he's over you. You still have a place in his mind and heart naturally because you meant something to him before. So either he'll still have a weak spot for you or he'll totally resent you. It's what happens with a relationship rots.

    My advice? You guys didn't get along, so you guys weren't meant to be. I think this because the best person to be with, in my opinion, is someone you're attracted to, love, and are compatible in many many places (sex, living, food, opinions, money, beliefs-- the list goes on). So he isn't the spotlight of your life anymore. Time to work on yourself until you meet someone, not better, but more compatible with you. Don't rebound like him. People who rebound aren't healthy. In my opinion, rebounding is very immature. It shows that they feel empty (which is totally okay), but they can't handle being alone or handle their emotions and it shows selfishness. It's okay to be hurt, but rebounding is just quickly using someone at their disposal to feel better, which obviously sucks for the other person, even if they don't know it yet.

    I dunno, this isn't very organized-- I just typed and typed the words that were forming in my head, so don't call me out on things. Just my personal view. Might not even be accurate.

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    • Thank-you :) yeah I think it's safe to say he resents me lol.

    • Just sucks not knowing... ya know? I wish I could at least know if he is thinking of me/misses me... or if he's just totally head over heels with this new girl and I never cross his mind. His best friend told me he never saw him look at a girl the way he looked at me, and that he really loved me... I don't know. I think he's just a manipulator/has so many emotional issues and baggage! Just sucks cause I do love him still.

  • Of course. Because A). they're weak, and need a reboundvto nurse their wounds. or B). They're tryin to cause a reaction (jealousy) or C). both

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  • Yes. Rebounds are for both guys and girls

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  • Who the fuck are you to talk about the other girl like that?

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