Has someone ever brought the worst side out of you that's not you?

I find myself being a controlling guy when I was with my ex. It was weird because I'm not like that with other people and I wasn't like that with other women. But it was something about this girl that made me become a controlling person. When she wasn't around I would constantly wonder where she was. I would get jealous if she didn't spend time with me and so on. What's worst is I would get so angry sometimes, to the point where I can't even remember the last time I have ever been that angry. She really just brought the worst out of me and I don't know what it was about her that made me into someone else that I'm not.

I am just curious, why her? Maybe I just didn't trust her? Did I just let her push my buttons or was she good at pushing my buttons?


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What Girls Said 1

  • My ex was very controling of me like that, but he wasn't like that when he was dating my friend. It might not even be the girl your with now. Was it the girl you dated before her? Most times its the previoius relationships that can cause possessivness.

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    • That's possible, the girl before that did cheat on me. But I wasn't like that with this girl until she started to spend less and less time with me.

    • Then it is most likely because you were afraid of getting cheated on again.

What Guys Said 1

  • She is probably an adept i.e. very subtle, manipulator if this is the case. Your "control freak nature" is actually an auto defense mechanism, done out of "counter control". As long as you know, deep inside, you're a secure, confident person, there should be nothing to worry about. Learn this lesson well and focus on getting the girl you want, i.e. a secure, honest girl.

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    • I was like that "counter control" thing..it was exhausting...i stopped and leaved him alone,what I did was like f*** that do ur own thing il do mine..i do the same things he does to me,like if choose to go to bar alone,i tell him the next day I go to bar alone too..if he complains I slap the f*** you on his face and tell him,if you don't want me doing what you don't like don't the things I don't like..i know that's bitchy but works for me,im not bitchy at all very millow but he made me pull the B me.

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    • Yes, your gut feelings through your subconscious mind warns your consciousness that something is fishy, you are being manipulated, and you fight back "without knowing why". Your best friend as a bystander, being more objective, can see her more easily. An adept manipulator knows your "sweet" and "bitter" buttons very well, and uses them to turn you into his/her slave, and do it in stealth mode. Very difficult to detect. Only reliable/trustworthy you have, really, is your gut/deep down, feelings.

    • Some examples of manipulation.1). She knows you hate cycling, but love music, which she loves too. One day she wants to go cycling, so she says, "Let's go cycling and THEN a concert" >>getting what she wants using a bait/conditional offer. 2). She knows you dislike cycling, but hate swimming. She wants to go cycling one day,so she asks you, "Shall we go cycling or swimming this afternoon?" >> limiting the options to two. And you sleepishly answer, "Cycling". In both cases, you FEEL uncomfortable

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