Is it easier for a guy to try and win back an ex or start with someone new?

When I asked my ex what he wanted, he said he didn't know and he'd leave that up to me. I said I didn't know either, but I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes. (He's been giving me mixed signals which is how the conversation started.)

Did he take my response the wrong way? I've told him before I didn't want a relationship. He broke up with me, and I was really hurt. And he felt really guilty. But he still dated someone else for a little bit.

He was always the one to put himself out there -- when we first got together, he admitted he liked me first. When we first broke up, he ended it. When we first got back together, he was the one who said he wanted to.

So I kind of expected him to tell me if he wanted me back or not. So since he was leaving it up to me, I figured he didn't. Now he has another girlfriend again.

Is it because of how I answered the question? Was he leaving it up to me because I was the one who got hurt? He knew I was still attracted to him. Was he hoping I'd be his little make out buddy or something? Would guys rather start over with someone new instead of wanting an ex back? He won me over twice before. I guess he thought he ran out of chances?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's easier for a guy to start a new relationship, but if your lucky to get your ex back then you don't have to go through getting to know each other; you may have to build up your trust a little but not start from scratch.

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    • I wonder about it because I've never seen him work so hard to win a girl back the way he did with me. Idk...maybe because of how we ended he might've just changed tactics or something. When he asked me that question, I think he might've been talking to another girl because timing wise they started dating only a couple of weeks after. So I kind of feel like I pushed him towards that. Or maybe he just asked me so he could let me down gently?

What Girls Said 1

  • I have had that same experience. What I figured out is that he was using me if he couldn't get any other girl. I was always his backup plan. So one day I had enough of him getting back with me and than making me feel bad, so I told him that I didn't want anything to do with him. I still am emotionally attached to this guy, but I have learned to not care. he was always my bestfriend before so moving on was hard. I still had to because he was destoring my health, physically and mentally. So in your case I wouldn't pay much attention to him, play hard to get. I understand that it will be hard, but its better for you to leave him then to have him keep hurting you.

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    • Oh wow. That's crazy. It is hard when you're friends. I tried pushing him away, too. But I guess enough has happened between is that we're just naturally drifting apart. =/

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