Does he even care?

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because I wasn't happy anymore, although I did love him but not as much as he deserved to be loved.. I felt like I was holding him back. I broke up with him through text because I'd already broken up with him before in person and it was too difficult for me to do it again since we had gotten back together, but my worry is that he didn't seem to even care. I sent him a long heartfelt message about my reasons and how it had nothing to do with him or anything that he did, it was just a matter of me trying to do what was best for me. But his response through text was "well um" "I don't know what to say... Okay i guess" and I don't undestand why that would be his reaction if he loved me as much as he described... maybe I was expecting him to fight for me or to at least tell me how he felt but that was litterally all he said to me and we haven't spoken since. I'm worried and I haven't stopped crying for a whole day. someone please give their opinion... thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • So your upset that he dosen't seem as upset as you wanted him to be? You dumped him. Again. I guess you weren't worth much in the first place to him. Serves you right. Now your upset about it. And making excuses like 'not as much as he deserved to be loved'. Sounds to me like you wanted drama for your selfish ego and it dosen't matter that your hurting someone in the process. Now your upset that you got hurt more than him. It must suck being such a lousy person. You should stay away from dating until you mature to, say a 7 year old's maturity level.

    • LOL.
      but yup, you have a point here.
      sometimes when things are going too smooth, you want to spice it up with some drama, not caring that hurting someone will really cause scars and can emotionally haunt them. one person may have the ability to forget, but not everyone's like that. some people will keep it with them forever.
      selfishness clouds these things and we're tempted to destroy. maybe because we find some odd beauty in that destruction, some sort of pleasure. thanatos?

      'not as much as he deserved to be loved' also implies that you don't want to, don't desire to take the step to put in the effort that he deserves. so it's good that you broke up if you're unwilling to push yourself.

Most Helpful Girl

  • breaking up isn't supposed to be a test, guys aren't always going to fight neither should girls, usually people don't have anything else to say because that's your choice to do so. I wouldn't worry, just because someone doesn't freak out on the outside doesn't mean they aren't hurting on the inside.

    • I wasn't testing him though. I wanted to make sure he'd be okay that he understood why I did what I did but he acted like it was no big deal so maybe he was a waste of my time are the thoughts that are going through my head. I still love him too, people need to remember that. Of course it will hurt when he reacts like that because I love him and i want to be sure that he loves me. That doesn't mean that I'm some terrible person who broke up with my boyfriend to test him.

    • I'm not saying you are a terrible person, but everyone deals in different ways, he doesn't have to be freaking out to prove that he loves you right? And if he doesn't love you as much as you love him, then his loss.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Break up with him then cry he didn't "fight for you" and be "worried".
    You are literally the worst kind of woman.

    • clearly you don't understand anything about the way I'm feeling, I am in love with him so if course it will hurt when he doesn't do so much as even react. I'm feeling like I've wasted my time on him because he doesn't have anything to say to the person that he so call loves. I was hoping to talk it out with him and get his perspective so I know he will be okay and so I can let him know that it wasn't his fault. I'm not in any way shape or form testing him. and i am literally not that worst kind of woman, you're just insensitive.

  • Well, maybe he was taken by surprise? maybe he didn't know what to say and he just accepted it since you have already made the decision.

  • No, I guess he just didn't know what to say, and accepted it.

    • I mean, he DOES care, but it's out of his hands and there is nothing for him to do, is there?

      You can't fix what's completely broken. You verified that in text. What should he fight for? He won't change your mind. Apathy is not the same as not caring, I think he just gave up with valid reason.

  • at first breaking up over text is not cool, to me it seems like u really hurt his feelings and i think he's just processing it and trying to get over it, i would not expect that he will be talking to you soon.


What Girls Said 4

  • if you already gave up on him, why do you want him to beg for you?
    on the one hand you're saying here that you don't love him enough, as much as he deserves, so then why do you want him to put himself down for you?
    if he did say something, will you go back to him? again?
    it sounds like you've made up your mind to leave him. you're doing this for the second time. what do you think he's thinking? if you've already decided, what can he change? if you go back to him just to break up with him again, i think it's best to keep your distance from now and not hurt him any further than you already have. he probably thinks he's really not worth it for you if he failed to keep you happy.

    i'm saying this from experience. i was about to break up, but we really talked it through and i realised i was giving up because i wanted to escape. only i know how broken he was. if i tell him again, he's really going to break from inside. i don't want him to lose his voice or his trust in himself that's already half shattered. i've decided to build us up once more. and so i will.

    and i just noticed that you're only 15. not meant to be downsizing your emotions.. but how much of a relationship did you build between you two?
    with me, i'm talking about a 5 year relationship here with 2 years long distance.
    how much do you really love him? or is it just a claim?

  • You're both very, very young. At your age it's quite common for young girls to be more attached to relationships than young boys. He likely didn't take it nearly as seriously as you did, which isn't necessarily a "bad thing" considering you are both so young. I'm sure he cared about you, but to fall in desperate love at only 15 when you're still going through things... just isn't very common.

  • Maybe he's heartbroken because he lost you, I don't know for how long have you guys been together but he seems to be very shocked!

  • Why do you worry about it? You said you were not happy, you broke up with him. He says that it's ok... isn't this what you wanted? He made it easier for you. Why do you expect him to "fight for you"? Just to tell him again NO *through a text"? Leave the guy alone, I feel your ego makes you feel the way you do...


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