I want to break up with my bf?

I wanna break up with my boyfriend but I don't want him to get hurt
I want him to think it was his idea
what should i do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe have an open discussion about where the relationship is, and if it's working for either one of you. If he doesn't want a break up, you aren't likely to make him see like it was idea unless you do something drastic like cheat, which will hurt him regardless.

    If you talk to him and explain that things just aren't working for you anymore, there's a chance that he feels the same way. If he doesn't, then at least you got your cards out on the table, were honest, and have a clear opportunity to break up with him. Break ups hurt no matter what. While there are ways to make it easier on the other person he isn't likely to leave the situation unscathed.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If he doesn't want to break up with you, you won't even get to make him think it was his idea unless you do something so terrible that he is the one who will break up with you first. So, if you wanna break up, be honest and break up giving him your reasons to do so. It will hurt but it's better than continuing a relationship like this.

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  • Well, you'll have to tell him your decision, be honest and straightforward about it. There is no other way, well you can make it less hurtful by being polite yet honest. I'll give you a link, see if it helps, there are 2 pages.

    theindiechicks.com/.../

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  • how about just be straight and break up with him. he will get hurt, he will get over it. life goes on.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Before you Do Anything that may Haste make Waste here, dear, might I suggest Taking a Break First. It will give you both a chance to be a part a bit and give you yourself the space needed to see if there Is.. More in store.
    Ripping off the band aid may not be the right thing and it just doesn't deal with the "Sting." You could end up later realizing "What have I done?" Missing the Kissing and the history you both have shared may then play its own heart to heart.
    It sounds like he is not this bad boy where you would Need to get out of Dodge today. But if it were a case of where face to face "Bye Bye" was Needed Now, then a smoking gun would have been quite clear here, dear, and No need to feel bad nor sad.
    On the other hand, to Answer another part, if you do want it to be Over and Done without pulling any punches, the best way would be to tell him, light and sweetly, that you are Not ready right now to stay in a Real Relationship.
    Problem is, no matter when or how, it will heart like hell Anyhow
    Good luck. xx

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  • Okay, you don’t have to tell him straight in the face that he is boring, weird, smelly or what-not but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth.

    You don’t have to be brutally honest, though. You can try something like, “I just don’t feel a connection with you.”

    Good luck.

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  • "I don't want him to get hurt I want him to think it was his idea"

    Wow, you are some piece of work, aren't you?

    I instead of telling him the truth you'd rather manipulate him into dumping you, because you're too much of a wuss to face the consequences of breaking a person's heart.

    Because when you don't want to be in a relationship, only YOUR feelings matter, right? YOU don't want to have to go through the awkwardness of initiating a break up, you just want the easy way out.

    Your desire to cause him to do the split shows just how cruel and selfish you really are.

    Advice? Grow up and accept the fact that feelings fade and if things don't work for you in a relationship, it's YOUR job to make it clear to your partner instead of coercing them into doing the job for you because you're too much of a coward to do it yourself.

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  • I don't think you should make him think it was his idea. If you're not happy, just tell him.

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