What should I do when he wants sex and no commitment? What is the best option?

What is the best option for this type of relatipnship? I honestly have never been a situation where i have sex and no commitment. It sucks because i love this guy. But he just wants to have sex and no commitment. He is being honest and i really thank him for that because he said he doesn't want to make me be in a uncomfortable situation. So why do guys do this and what should i do if i love this guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whoever cares the least wins

    See when a guy and a girl both want sex or both want a relationship, then they are on the same page. However when they want different things, the person who cares the least wins.

    You want a relationship, he wants sex. Your level of overall desire for him is likely higher than his level of desire for you. This is why you're considering agreeing to an arangment you know won't make you happy.

    I his desire for you was the same or greater, he would agree to a relationship, but clearly that isn't happening.

    It's probably in your best interest to move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're not comfortable with the situation it's only going to get worse. If he doesn't want a commitment now he probably won't ever want one with you. It was great that he was honest about the situation, but now it's up to you to decide if you want to continue.

    You have a few options. Since he was so open to communicating the situation before, you could be honest, explain you have feelings, and ask him if he sees it going any further in the future. If he can't give you a direct answer I suggest you leave. "Maybe" means "no but I want to sleep with you until you give me an ultimatum.

    You could let go and move on but be wary. If he knows you have a new guy he may play the "I miss you I have feelings" for you card to get you to go back. Once you do he likely won't commit again and you'll be back where you started.

    These kinds of relationships often fail because one person tends to want more than the other. Sometimes they work out but that's only when both people are okay with just hooking up, or when one confesses feelings and a desire for commitment the other wants the same thing. Right then and there. Not later.

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    • He says he still has feelings for me, and i told him we both want different things and he said "is not that i want different is just that I don't know what i want" is a confusing situation, in a way he still wants me but he doesn't. He told me he doesn't know if he will want me forever but that in the present he knows he wants me. I told him i love him and i need commitment, so he knows he just doesn't want to let go but, i be hurting myself. I know for a fact that i dont want sex and no commitment.

    • Not knowing if you want to be with someone forever is one thing, but if they won't commit to a relationship that's something else. In the end you sometimes have to take the selfish route and decide what's best for you. If this is a dealbreaker you'll have to let it be one. You can't change someone's mind, and if you pressure him in to a commitment he isn't sure he wants, he will likely wind up resenting you for it. And vice versa, if you continue being with someone who can't offer you what you know you want... You'll likely wind up taking it out on them.

    • Thank you this was really helpfull :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • he only care about your body just for sex
    sex is not every thing in relationship, it just expression of love
    so forget about him and use your mind not your body

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  • He's doing this because he isn't interested in a relationship, just sex. Good for him being open and honest about it instead of taking advantage of you.

    It doesn't sound like you'll be able to separate your emotions from your sex with him, so better to move on rather than live in denial and end up hurting yourself.

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  • It's not going to turn out well for you if you love him and he just wants sex

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  • He seems like he's doing things right NEVER commit to a woman they are ALL ungratefull

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  • If that isn't what you want, then you stop talking to him.

    But frankly, you're going to be running into this more and more as guys discover that avoiding marriage is financially and legally smart.

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    • That's actually what's going on woth him right now, and i respect that and it makes sense.

  • Your best option is probably to walk away. He's made it clear that he has no intention of committing; you're not going to change his mind on that.

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  • Well he obviously doesn't love you. So forget him and find one who does

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think you shouldn't have sex with him. If you love him and he told you he doesn't want a relationship then it's best to stay away, otherwise you'll end up very badly hurt.

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  • If that's what he wants, that's what he wants and you have to accept it. Either you decide that you're okay with it and put aside what you originally wanted, or you decide you still want commitment and move on. It's going to hurt either way.

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  • Never sacrifice something that you want for someone who isn't willing to do something for you. He doesn't deserve it or you.

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  • Men are afraid of commitment for fear of failure. Withhold sex, until you can reach an agreement. A compromise

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  • Love? No infatutation. Don't let anyone or him use you.

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  • Unless you want sex and no commitment... dump him and move on. You can't force anyone (yourself included) to do something they do not want to do. You guys are simply not on the same wavelength. If you keep seeing him, chances are you will get hurt. Good luck!

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  • You walk away because otherwise you would just be used

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