Ex boyfriend issues... somebody please help? Long read, but I need advice from you lovely GAG people?

So we split up in April 2015. I don't really know what happened, apart from we argued (about politics funnily enough :S) and both ended up getting really angry... to the point my ex Ryan said we were done if I didn't drop the subject. Well me being stubborn, I didn't drop it.

Of course, this led to us breaking up. Now Ryan had always been good to me. We planned out our family, getting married and having babies sometime in the near future. He'd spoil me with gifts often and was always there.

But I was always on his tail and often didn't cut him slack, and our final argument was what made him snap in the end.

He turned angry, hostile and venomous towards me after we broke up... a side I had never seen before. I tried to talk things out and apologise for my part, but he wouldn't let me. The more I tried, the more he hurt me.

Eventually, he started to ignore my messages. And I was getting very paranoid, as well as really upset. He was swearing at me a bit and being downright awful. So I messaged him and said I couldn't take it anymore, and blocked him off of Facebook so I couldn't contact him.

It's September now, and we haven't spoke since. He works in our local supermarket and I see him there now and then. We never look at each other or communicate if I'm doing my shopping there.

He's tried a couple of times now to make eye contact with me when I've been in, but I've been to hurt to return it. I also caught him staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking.

I just don't know what to do... I wish we could fix this and I still care for him, I just wish he knew how much he's hurt me.

Should i I just continue moving on and leave things broken, or slowly start making eye contact with him when I see him around, and go from there?

Also WHY is he being so cold and hurtful towards me? It's not as if I cheated on him, but he acts as if I did something awful.


Most Helpful Guy

  • WAIT A DAMN MINUTE, are you telling me that he spoiled you and you DIDN'T reciprocate.

    • No no, I did! I mean, I just nagged at him too much, and it seemed to put him under a lot of pressure. I didn't realise just how much pressure is been putting on him until we split up.

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    • Alright, I am about to get really offensive here. You need the truth. You are an inconsiderate bastards. I LITERALLY JUST WENT THROUGH THIS in my relationship. It has left me very bitter and angry. I CAN COMPLETELY understand his rage.

      Literally my ex girlfriend kept me a secret as well. Your actions have stated "that he isn't important and you are selfish." If you want serious advice on how to fix this pm me because this will be a long message.


    • I'm not inconsiderate (okay, I am, and I can see why you say that) how do I pm you? I could do with talking a bit more about it... especially to someome who knows what this feels like! I know what my actions have stated now, and I need help to fix it :/

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should move on!

    • But I find it harder to move on when things are broken. If things were fixed, it would be much easier to do that!

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    • Exactly! I just feel, I really need that closure. To be on good terms. Then I'll be able to move on... I just can't be doing without it :/

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What Guys Said 2

  • move on. him looking at you doesn't really mean anything. why was he so mean? well he asked you to drop a subject and it sounds like you kept pressing the issue. That is not only unattractive but also disrespectful. Now it doesn't mean he should be mean but unfortunately many humans sort of revert to childish behavior when we feel like we have no other recourse.

    Simple thing is move on. Clearly the political differences were enough to cause frequent arguments that resulted in a break up, which is probably a sign that the relationship wasn't going to work unless the people could respect each other's political differences

    • It does though. For months I've been in and out of that shop and he's deliberately not looked my way... until very recently. Also, why on earth would you stare over at someone you hate?

      And yeah, I know, I should have dropped that subject. I admitted that wholeheartedly. I shouldn't have wound him up like I did.

      But he's been so mean to me. He's friends with all his exes, including two who cheated on him. But me? He acts like I'm even worse than these other girls. He even re-added his ex who cheated on him on Facebook just weeks after we split, I was gutted considering what she did to him!

      It wasn't like we argued about political things all the time. It was more a case of me perpetually nagging him, which I now regret terribly :(. I'm a perfectionist by nature, you see.

    • i don't think the staring means what you think it means. staring doesn't mean someone is in love or wants to re-kindle anything... and if it does you need to let him make that move

      but you shouldn't, and I repeat SHOULD NOT get your hopes up because he looked your way. Maybe like other ex's he's ready to forgive and try and at least mend fences but you can't assume anything because he's looking in your direction aside from the fact that he at least doesn't avoid looking you now.

      but do whatever you want and believe whatever you want. I'm just a guy expressing how I think a guy would feel

    • Don't get me wrong, I'm not assuming anything like that. I am hoping that maybe he's ready to make up at least. But based on him looking over, I can't judge that unfortunately. I want to take your view point though because you are a guy. I just wish things were different I guess and that him trying to engage with me in some way meant something.

  • Sorry I don't know exactly but if he really regret about his behaviour then give him a chance and if not then e-mail me 😶?

    • I'm not sure he regrets his behaviour to be honest. He knew that swearing at me and then giving me the silent treatment would REALLY hurt me, and I believe that was intentional :(. I've blocked him on Facebook too, so there's no way I can get in touch with him now, even if I did get in Touch I'd be so scared he'd be nasty or reject me again :(

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    • Yep that idea sounds gentle and go for it as fast as possible because...
      My penguins wanna meet you they're saying that they want me to be with you 😂 jk 😜 and yep what if he doesn't want to end it happily😶?

    • He didn't want to end it happily, but I guess there's always time for him to change his mind.

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