Two-three weeks ago she almost broke up with me because she felt I wasn't getting closer to her - rather further apart. I told her I'd change and the first date after went well. Then it was a week before our next date - coffee after work. She told me she wanted to see me the next day. On the train ride home she held my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. At my stop she gave me 3 big kisses and a huge smile. She texted me after saying how handsome I looked and how great I smelled. The next day however I had to cancel our date literally last minute for a non emergency family reason. That's when she got cold. I tried asking her out a different night but she made excuses and finally ended it Sunday
To me, I truly don't think there is a lack of attraction between us. My time spent with her never ever suggested that. I apologized for everything I did wrong Sunday and she forgave but didn't want me back. I've had some time to think and it is clear as day to me what I've failed to do since our trip to the mountains together a month ago. She lost her grandma a few weeks ago, has had a lot of financial problems, roommate problems, bad job etc. I haven't been the boyfriend i was when this started. Admittedly because of fear. I care about her deeply though and think I realize how much I took her for granted and want to try this one more time. I'm fully committed to change and I know my faults. I'm ready for a legit commitment to her - no more fear.
My question I guess is how should I do this? I want so badly to message her this weekend but everything I see and read days wait at least a month. Which makes sense sort of but that length of time worries me. I want to respect her decision, give space and let her figure stuff out but I also want to fig
Most Helpful Girl
I don’t know how long you have been dating but your relationship sounds pretty serious. As you said, she was been through a lot lately, and unfortunately, you weren’t there for her enough. She needed your help, your support, your presence, somebody she could rely on, and yet, due to your fear of commitment, you didn’t give her your all. What good is a relationship when your significant other is not there to share your pain and give you a shoulder to cry on? It’s good that you realized your mistakes and admit that you were wrong, but let me get this clear…’you care about her deeply’. You care about her, but do you love her? If you love this woman and want to have a future with her I suggest you go and tell her all that you have told us: the fact that you saw, a little bit late, what went wrong, your fear of commitment and your true feeling for her. Have a face to face, yet private talk with her and make her understand your feelings, tell her how serious you are about this relationship, and what you are willing to do to make this relationship work. A bouquet of flowers wouldn’t hurt either. But before that, think really well about what you want.