He's setting ultimatums and says he won't talk to me if I break up with him?

He and I dated over the summer and I said in the very beginning that I didn't want anything committed. Things got a bit more serious, which I was okay with, but I thought he knew we still weren't going to be fully "together". He's just been super clingy and I've been drifting away because of it. Last night I told him I wanted to end things because I just wasn't in the place to be in a relationship, like I'd said in the beginning.
Now he is setting ultimatums like saying he won't talk to me ever if we break up. I don't really know what to do. I'd like to hang out with him normally, but I don't think that's possible. We're continuing the conversation later. How do I let him down easily?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At this stage, there's little point trying to let him down easily since he's getting weird. Just be brief and firm, and then leave. Don't waste your time trying to keep him as a friend, it's not worth it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He is making his wants loud and clear. This is sort of a "take" it or "leave" it deal.
    Since your needs do not match up with his , you have no other option than to end things with him.

    I know you still want a piece of him , but you have to understand you both aren't at the same level. This will continue to cause conflict if you do not choose. It will continue to be a reoccurring issue. You have to let him go , as hard as it may be.

    At that point , there's nothing more to be said.
    Wish him the best of luck with his life and move on.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Just dump him and don't care if he doesn't talk to you again. There are others out there that will have you just for casual companionship and sex.

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  • Do not cave in to emotional blackmail. This guy has issues I think. Probably best to make a break from him sooner rather than later.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Tell him, being this Honest Jane just the same, you are so sorry he feels like this but perhaps it is Best from the Rest to just End the friendship then.
    Perhaps holding the carrot over these stubborn mule may be Now a horse of another color and if you swing it back and forth enough, he just Might... Bite and see it your Way without all the 'Hay.'
    Good luck. xx

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  • Clearly this guys like you so the best and most respectful thing you can do is to be completely honest with him and break up. It's not fair to keep him hanging when you don't know how you feel. If he doesn't want to talk to you again then so be it. He deserves someones who wants him and you deserve someone who is more suitable for you so its best to say goodbye.

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  • What is he 12? Be firm with him and just tell him straight that you're not in the right mindframe to get into anything too hot and heavy right now and if you can't accept the friendship I am offering, then it will make me sad but I will have to accept it. Be firm otherwise you will continuously go round in circles.

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  • Who cares if he doesn't talk to you?

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    • Totally true! I honestly don't care, but he and I were really great friends before. That's all I'll miss.

    • I think he'll get over it in time. I'm sure he'll be hurt and keep his distance, but he'll get over it eventually.

  • I would not like to talk to my exes either. I don't see the point of being friends with an ex. So I don't think he is blackmailing you, he is just being honest. He has to accept the break up, and you have to respect his decisions too.
    I would not worry much if he talks to you or not. If you cared so much about being friends with him.. why did you start a casual relationship with him? These things often don't work..
    So if you want to dump him, dump him. Period. You both will have the chance to meet someone more compatible.

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  • Well then that's his choice. Just cut your ties with him and move on! He fell into feeling you just didn't. It's not that complicated. Sorry but the friendship is done also and will never exist again because he will always see you as the one who rejected him

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