My girlfriend has met her ex twice behind my back, and they have conversations that she can't show me , what do I do?

she knows i am jealous of that particular ex because he was the one who dumped her in a very rude way, i am always open minded with her , i dont mind any other friend or male but she knows i would have been really hurt and lose my trust for her if she talked to that ex, lately i discovered she met him twice behind my back, she was the one who contacted him after we have been for a year together, the first time she met him, she told me she is at her father's house, and didn't answer my calls all day, the next time she said she is at work and kept checking on me if i am away from her work place or not, later i discovered all that, and asked her to show me their msgs or her whatsapp but she refused and changed the subject, i tried to push myself to forgive her and she said it is over between them and that she won't talk to him anymore, i waited a week then asked her to show me her mobile to make sure she has stopped talking like she said, we were somewhere, and she refused to give me her mobile, i strated crying in the street "please show me", she stood there very shocked and sad but couldnt show me anything, i cried in the street then i walked away took a taxi and went to my dad's home, later she said she knows she was wrong and that she is sorry, i agreed to meet her because i love her, but something inside me has brutally broke, i wasn't comfortable with her , and i couldnt know who she is anymore, just zero trust towards her, i even brought her a present on that date because i felt i was kind cruel when i left her in the street , i brought her a very nice present, but down me i was so so sad and suspicous and doubtful,. well, what do i do? what would you have done guys?

ps : She has left me before for 2-3 months to hook up with a fling , and i took her because i love her, and because she promised that she will never hurt me or do anything to break my trust again

do you think i had the right to leave her and walk away that day when she couldnt show me her call log, whatsapp or anything between her and her ex?, i was crying, but she looked so sad and shocked ,.. but i found nothing to do except to leave and walk away , would you have done the same?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She is aware that you are not comfortable with her contacting that particular ex. She knows it would hurt you and break the trust you have in her. YET, she does contact him. And, worse, behind your back. And even worse, she is not honest with you about the topic of their conversation. Most likely she is not over her ex, especially because she was the dumpee. If this was not the case, why keeping secrets? This is a selfish behavior, she cares about her well being, no matter if her actions cause you discomfort. She does not seem to respect you and does not value enough the relationship she has with you... She left you already once for someone else. I totally understand why you took her back, I was in your situation once. But once trust is gone, it's gone. And it takes a lot to build it again. Something she does not seem willing to do...
    OP, I believe there should not be secrets in a healthy relationship... and mutual trust should be its foundations. I would talk to her to give the relationship a final chance. But if she does not change, I am afraid you are better off without her.


Most Helpful Guy

  • What's in her whatsapp is her business not yours. However, going to visit any guy and deliberately hiding it is a boundary she should not cross. But really man, when you have to grovel so you can feel better about what's going on, then its time to end it. Be gone bitch!

    • actually i would have never asked to see anything , it is that she lied about where she is two times , is what made it hard for me to believe if she stopped talking to him or not without seeing any evidence, you know when someone can lie to you like that , it is hard to believe their talk again, so i wanted her to show me something that proves she has stopped.. but she couldnt, does that mean that she was still talking to him after she promised that it is over?, at this moment would you leave her as well?, was i harsh that i walked away?, but i swear i was too hurt and angry, so..

    • Show All
    • would you walk away that day if you were me?, would you have taken her back if she broke up with you to sleep with someone else?

    • Well I would like to think I wouldn't have taken her back after she dumped me to have a fling, but its easy for me to say that, I would have walked when I found she was talking to her ex and deliberately hiding it.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 27

  • Leave her. She's bad news and doesn't respect you.

    Don't think you can do better, KNOW you can do better.

    • thank you:)\

    • Also you did the right thing by leaving, well done. It's good she got to see how much her actions affect other people and maybe next time she'll show more respect.

  • Now you know why her ex dumped her so rudely ! She wants to have her cake, eat it, have a second piece and then walk over you to get a third piece. She's greedy, ungrateful, selfish, and not worth your love. She's a serial abuser of grass is greener syndrome. Move on and find somebody who is worth your time.

  • She's already had her second chance. If My guy felt insecure or uncomfortable about my conversations I'd show my guy my phone no problem. It'll only keep going on as long as you let it. I'd be tired of trying to build something that's already crumbled twice. I hope you realize you don't deserve that and set higher standards. Sorry your hurting.

    • thank you, i wish she was honest like you.. her not being able to show me anything and i love her so much, just broke my heart and drove me crazy that day.. i had nothing to do but to walk away.. do u think that was harsh? would you do the same if you were me?

    • What else was there to do? You asked her to be honest an she stood there and watched you crumble with no intention of just showing you.. That's it right there. You needed something, she refused, walk away. You did it right. She messed up.

    • i was crying in the street, it was too hard , and you know what that was a week after she said it was over between them.. and worst, that day on the phone earlier i said lets hang out with our friends today because i would want to see the the conversations and i know i will get hurt , so lets have some fun first.. so this way i kind warned her that i will ask to see the things and that i am afraid i will get hurt,, still she took no action.. i am sorry for talking much,, but you know these kind of betrayals really hurt

  • I'd have a serious talk with her. I have only ever stayed friends with one of my ex's and at that we don't speak unless we happen to bump into each other. And if you don't trust her, then I think it's best to leave her. Relationships don't stand a chance without trust.

  • I wouldn't tolerate that at all. I'd already walk away from this situation even tho you lover her , dont get stronger feelings and then she'll end up playing you out.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I am amazed as how blind so many young people are by the stuff they post here.

    If a woman did that to me I would dump her like yesterday's trash. She is not worthy of trust as she only thinks of herself.

    Geez... This is not rocket science! lol

  • There is no question, break up. She doesn't care enough about you to stay in a relationship with her. I don't think you have reason to be "suspicious" it seems waht she is doing is completely obvious. She is selfish and that isn't going to change. Break up with her and find some one who will actually love you back.

  • well buddy, you know how is that girl and you take a risk one time but think about it, if she leaves you for only a moment of sex then she don't loves you or have the minimum respect.

    Leave her because is evident that her is with another guy. The suffering is optional so you must decide if still or change of partner.

  • Be a man?
    Find another girl now , and hurt her the way she did to you, even if you can't get a new girl just get enough busy on your phone when your with her, she will appreciate you more if she think your busy with enough girl.

  • She is playing you. If she can't show you the log it is because she knows it will damn her as a lying cheating bitch. You should dump her and start looking elsewhere.

    • thank you man, if you were me on that day , would you walk away as i did , i just feel guilty about this part, but i swear i was too hurt and angry?

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