How do you get over someone?

Aside from... doing other things to distract myself, or to 'get out there'. The thing is, my partner and I did not really break-up; we're just physically far from each other and agreed to take a break. But he started seeing another girl already - and I felt he moved on so fast, and I am hurting so much. Somehow I want to confront him, but I can't because I know its not fair.
thank you all for your thoughts. there's a lot going in my mind, and i guess i want to add more details as its bugging me so much: we decided to take a break (// an open relationship) for 2 years - the length of time I will be away. We were still keeping contact, but then long story short: I confronted him and told him how hard it is to be away, and I got jealous when he told me he's starting to talk to other girls. At this moment I just wish time passes a bit faster.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Keep this in mind: he was or still is hurting. It may not seem like it; but how a guy deals with a breakup ranges. Like one of the women said, it's quite likely he set you on the backburner while he was trying things out with someone new.

    Yet again, he could be seeing another girl because he got the perspective you broke up with him, and its the only way he can see to move on. Aka the rebound girl. If you guys had a long relationship and it was at the "I love you" gooey stuff its highly unlikely those feelings just dissipated into thin air.

    So like the below opinions, with time comes healing. It make seem like forever and yeah it hurts. It sucks. But you shouldn't feel like you're the only one who's hurting either. Either you are the dumpie or the one who was dumped, well you're both hurt. Always remember that.

    There are also plenty of fish in the sea, and with time its very possible you'll find someone better than him.

    Good luck!


Most Helpful Girl

  • She was in his life before the idea to take a break. Guys don't leave one option unless there is another option already lined up and guaranteed.

    You have essentially been tricked into waiting for him to find out if this new girl will work out or not.

    You need to cut him loose and move on. "The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else."


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Cut all contact with them. You are already broken up, you just don't see it.

    Do not message them, do not call them, do not look at their social media.

    ZERO contact, and I mean zero. You have to remove them from your life. Don't look for excuses to talk to them, don't go asking mutual friends how they are doing etc.

    If you have any contact with them, you'll just hurt yourself further.


What Girls Said 4

  • Only time can help you can get over someone, I'm afraid. It sucks, but you will get over it soon.

  • I think you should break up with him.

    Taking a break doesn't mean you're free to date around.
    It means that you sort yourself out for your partner so you can be a better version of yourself , when you are back together.
    His actions shows that he cares very little about you.

    I think you should really see and not ignore this.
    I think you should move on from him completely rather than asking "How to get over him?"
    You can't get over someone is they are still in your life and betrayed you.

    You have to cut him loose entirely so the real "getting over process" can begin.

  • "Taking a break" is just an excuse for guys to fuck around with other girls all the while knowing that he has someone who is waiting for him when he's done. You need to find someone who won't want to take a break with you. I don't do "breaks" in a relationship. Don't settle for a guy who likes to. To me, his reasoning (I have read your update) is all bullshit. He sounds like an asshole to me and I doubt he's hurting all that much. You should walk away if you ask me. If some truly cares and loves you, he will wait for as long as he has to.

  • all you can do is give it time and try to stay positive!


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