Guys, is this a legit reason to break up?

A bit more then 4 years ago, my ex got into some depression. He dropped school and went totally introvert. He lost contact to all his friends and spent next 2 years just being home all day and playing video games. He was living with his mom who apparently didn't really care and let him be. His mom earned a lot of money and was basically never home, so he had enough to live nicely. He got addicted to solidary life and was enjoying it, even though he knew it's bad in the long run. But he had no intention for continuing school or finding a job. He didn't want a girlfriend, he liked being alone and jerking off by himself. Then he met me, through video games, online. He had online friends and I shortly became a part of the crew. I was the only girl there. He liked me and I liked him, so we decided to meet up. Since I already had family in his country, it was along the way to visit him too. He fell in love with me the moment he saw me. We had an amazing day. And since I was planing on moving there soon anyways, we decided to be together in a LDR. And so we did, for 3 years. But he knew his life is a mess and he still had problems. I tried talking to him to find a job, to go out, but he never wanted to. He told me he loves me and that I am the best thing that ever happened to him. Few months before breakup, I noticed he doesn't have any ambitions. Visiting each other was expensive and he was too lazy to earn money for it. He would say from time to time how I don't deserve him and how he feels like he's not enough for me. I told him that if we want this to work and close the distance that we both need to put an effort. He agreed and would always say that he will. Then he became distant and sad, and eventually he broke up with me. He said that he knows he's not alright and that he needs to fix his life. So he decided to go back to school and start there from fresh. He said that the timing for a relationship is bad and that he can't commit right now.
That the only thing he can commit right now is his studies and that maybe one day we can be together again. Then a month later I got a job there and told him about it and he said that that doesn't change anything. It's been 6 months and so far he has been very nice to me, he would always respond to my texts and calls. His school started and he's been doing alright, he hasn't been with anyone yet so far. I'm moving there anyways, should I give up?
Forgot to mention that he was also visiting a therapist for some months before the breakup, and he told me that the therapist gave him this advice too.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think he should have given you a chance if you were closer now, seems like fate.

    But i went through a similar thing and broke up with my girlfriend for both our sakes so i get it, you know? He's really telling the truth, he sees no way possible he can be good for your life. He cares so much and thinks being around him will ruin anything good that could happen to you.

    But if you tell him that's not true there is a chance he'll start believing it. If he doesn't I'd say that's a good last effort, pray for him to feel better and move on.

  • I don't see any possible way this can work. I would move on if I were you.


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