Will he call me after I told him I had to let him go, and never contact me again?

I was with a guy for three years, we also lived together for those three years. I moved back to my home state, because my father was getting older. My boyfriend was not willing to move back here with me, even though his family also lives in this area. A year has past since I moved back here, we remained good friends, talked once and while on the phone. He eventually started seeing a woman (who is currently separated from her husband, but still sleeps with him and hangs out with him frequently). My exboyfriend called me out of the blue, and asked if he could come and see me. We ended up hooking up and eventually rekindling our relationship, and he finally decided he was going to move here. He immediately went back and ended his relationship with her. For about three weeks we talked multiple times a day, making plans for him to move here with me. Two weeks ago, he abruptly stopped calling, I texted him " Why haven't you called me?", my phone immediately rang. He said... I don't love you, I love 'Christine", I am not moving by you, then hung up. A week later he called me back and apologized for hurting me. He claims... "he is addicted to her", he is miserable with her though, and wants to be with me, but can't pull himself away from her. I decided I could not take anymore heartbreak and I said " I need to let you go, I can't compete with her", please don't call me anymore. It's been two weeks and I regret saying that to him. I love him so much, I feel like I can't live with out him. I just want him to wake up. I just want him to call me !!! I have decided not to initiate any kind of contact. He also told me our last conversation that she keeps telling him that she is going back to her husband. Of course, I am hoping she does! Is there anything I can do to get him back? Am I doing the right thing by not contacting him? I am scared because I told him that I had to let him go and not to contact me. I said it out of hurt. Now I have left myself devastated. We were best friends and now he is completely gone out of my life. Does anyone think he will call me again? I have vowed not to call him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he knows you well and things don't work out with the other girl, yes he will call you. He sounds wishy washy to me and I would not count on this working out.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Frankly, you are better off without him. You told him not to contact you again, and it's the best thing it could happen to you. I am afraid he will, though... and you have to be strong and ignore him.
    He is the typical example of the guy that wants to sit on more chairs at the same time. The "undecided" one, that can't be man enough to make up his mind and take responsibility for his actions.
    He does not want to be with you... if he did, he would be there already. He wants to be with the other woman! This guy "is addicted" to her, and calls/sleeps with you from time to time just to make sure you still would take him if he ever came back. He keeps you as a plan B, my dear, in case the other woman goes back to her husband (by the way, this is why he is unhappy with her: she cannot make up her mind... she is the one in control here). It's a no-win situation for you... open your eyes. If he does not come back, you are heartbroken. If he does come back, you'll eventually be heartbroken - do you really want to spend your life with someone that has ZERO respect for you? I'm sure you can find much better. Do yourself a favor: walk away!

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    • I am sure you are right. I think it is hard because I am alone right now, and he is with her. I think my feelings would change if I found a great guy. But, right now they are still very raw.

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    • I am scared to death if that call comes... He is a Therapist, so he knows exactly what to say. Do you honestly think he will call? I need to prepare myself. Everyone's response to my post is very similar, giving me the same advice. It will honestly be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. I know once a cheater, always a cheater. He is clever, and easily makes me believe every word he is saying. Right now, I just want him to hurt, I think I have entered the "Anger" stage.

    • He probably will - he needs to stroke his ego and make sure you are still waiting for him with open arms... Show him you are waiting for him, yes, but with open eyes! You have an advantage: you know him, you know he will try to manipulate you, you know what sneaky words he will use. Act accordingly. Honestly, I wouldn't even answer the phone. Easier. You already told him you don't want to hear from him anymore, so he should not be surprised if he gets no response from you.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • You don't want a guy who isn't sure if he wants you or not. You did the right thing by telling him not to contact you. Even if he did come back, you'd always wonder if it's just b because Christine went back to her hubby, and you were just the backup plan. Don't put yourself through that.

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  • Just move on. You're just his plan B.

    media.giphy.com/media/duQ1A541hytG0/giphy.gif

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  • Aww i am so sorry, reading that brought tears to my eyes , because i could see the pain you feel through your words.

    You obviously love him very much. I do believe he will call you again, but i also think he will break your heart again too. I'd rather go through the short term pain of having my heart broken by cutting contact with someone who isn't sure if they love me or not , than to go through the long term pain of having them in my life, not knowing where i stand, and risking them repeatedly breaking my heart.💔.

    Personally, i wouldn't contact him and just see how things develop. He seems very indecisive and confused as to what he wants.

    If someone wants you to be part of their life then they'll make an obvious effort to put you in it... you shouldn't have to fight for a spot.

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    • Thanks for the advice. Makes sense. Your right. I truly love him and I am lost with out him. I really want to move on and eventually find someone who is honest and decent , but I can't get him out of my head. I really think I am so shocked by his actions and the way it all happened, I never though he was capable of hurting me this way. Again, he called me two weeks ago and we talked for four hours, then he called me again two days after that, we talked for another two hours. I have not heard from him since, that was two weeks ago tomorrow. But, unfortunately I asked him never to have contact with me again. I told him I could not compete with her and that he ruined my life by just dropping back into mine and then walking away. Out last conversation was very tearful and we both ended it by wishing each other happiness. Deep in my heart I did not want to end our contact but it would hurt me having him in my life, and not being able to have him. I am praying that he wakes up one day.

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    • Great advice. I am trying to stay as busy as I can. I need to surround myself with positive people. I even thought about joining a church.

    • Good idea! Do things that make you feel emotionally safe too. The less you respond to negative people then more peaceful your life will be. I have learned to never place my happiness in other peoples hands, because one they're gone then so is your happiness. If you can build a life to help you find inner peace then you can deal with anything that life throughs at you xx 💛

  • Ok.. I stopped reading beyond the title. Now, why do you care at all?

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