Was I confused about my feelings, did my tastes change or did things change?

I just broke up with my first boyfriend of 1.5 years. At first we met once, then started chatting and our converstions went well. Later we went to phone conversations and I liked talking. But when he asked me out I was unsure about him, I didn't want it to be a date. But as we hang out more I started to like him more.

But from this year we started having a lot of arguments and he said some hurtful things and we didn't understand each other. He got annoyed at me for not understanding him, and he was saying I should know him better since it's over a year. I also felt like he wasn't listening to my opinions and said that I was wrong, and also cutting me off midsentence to give an excuse, then we'd veer off topic. I wouldn't be able to say what I wanted.
Last time we talked, he thinks that I can't think for myself, and the only reason I got this close with him is because I was always following him and he always initiated things.

I've always been indecisive and don't want to regret things. Everything was good before this year, but things started to change when he lost his job and my parents started to tell me that being with him wasn't a good idea. They think that he's lazy and only does what he wants to do, which I feel is true.
I told him that if things didn't change, in regards to him getting a job and him not neglecting me, saying that he 'has to look after someone' and it was always a girl when it was also the only chance for us to meet up in a long time.

He decided to break up with me, as he knows that I'm not happy. I kept thinking about breaking up as well, but was scared to do it, but also scared to stay.
I still feel attached to him and want to talk to him, but I feel that the same things will repeat.
He said he loves me still but he agrees that all these things will repeat. I feel that everytime a problem comes up, he doesn't want to compromise and fix things, saying that's who he is and he can't change. T


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  • I think that you both grew up. You matured, discovered new things about yourself, and sometimes these new things don't include people in our past. You fell in love with the version of him a year and a half ago, and today he's different. Same goes for you. You'll always feel attached to him somehow, because you loved him. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't rejoice that now you have the freedom to meet other people who will love you for who you are now and not who you were back then.

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    • Thank you for your opinion. I think you're right about falling in love with the version of him from a year ago. He called me last week, after a 3 week break asking if I'd give it another go. As the break up was his descision and I hadn't really given an answer, so this time I said that I'm fine with how things are, then he told me that he'd blocked me on facebook and won't contact me anymore. I keep having mixed feelings, like feeling relived then being lonley or missing him. I'll try to look forward :')

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    • Let him block you love, just don't stoop as low. He's being immature right now, be the bigger person. But don't give in to his demands of being together again if it's not the right decision for you. Hope things get better :)

    • I see, I wasn't sure if I was doing the same thing. He asked me if I had seen his posts on facebook, new ones that were posted of his friends, and it triggered negative feelings. Like I wanted to do these things with him but in a way he always chose them over helping me. So I unfollowed his timeline, so it won't be in my face all the time, and trying to focus on my work, but we were still friends on facebook. When I explained that to him he decided to block me as he said that it was better for us.
      I want to tell people and ask them what I should do, I don't like making descions as I might regret it, but then they add at the end that it's up to me...
      I feel bad for him. He doesn't have many friends and some people used him. And we fought about it as he couldn't see that till later on. I don't want to hurt him either by leaving him. He was saying that I was perfect to him, but I kept seeing his flaws.
      Sorry for the ramble.
      Thank you for your well wish :)

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