How to cope with irrational feelings after being cheated on?

I'll try to make this as short as possible. I was with this man for 10 years, I'm 28, he's 30. I've had my suspicions a few times, but I never had proof and I didn't want to face it, so I tried to force myself into doubt. Well this time I found out for good. I flipped, was hysterical, I guess typical behavior for that moment. When he was caught, HE got mad at ME, flipped out, called me a stalker because I did have to snoop to find out. I went through his phones facebook messages... and part of me wishes I hadn't. He had cheated on me at least 10 times, in addition to plenty of girls he had tried but they didn't pursue. This went back 8 years. I was devastated. He cut contact, I wanted nothing to do with him. But now I am acting completely unlike myself. Any time I feel that he's with the girl he cheated on me with, I flip. Start calling him back to back, texting him mean things, calling him names, threatening things. It's like I can't stop myself. I want him to feel disgusting for what he has done. I know I look crazy and desperate, I even message her on facebook. I don't feel bad for either of them, but I want to stop... I'm making myself look awful when he the awful one. How do I cope with these feelings?


0|0
43

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry about that, Its tough feeling but what you're trying to do is wrong
    You can't fight fire with gas, you 'll end up hurting yourself more than anybody else Unfortunately, you still making the pain continues on and on and believe me you 'll not be able to take any decision if you don't forget about him and the past
    I know it tough feeling, but you have to take the next step in your life

    its hard but you have to forget the past and forgive him
    This does not mean you are a bad person, but It is mean, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever

    take the next step and stop contact with him, unfriend him on FB, block his number , forget about past
    the door in front of you to start new life, fresh dreams
    Go out from your darkness, believe me there are a lot of beautiful things in this life you don't know about it
    In the end its your decision to live a happy life or not
    Good luck

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Where are your friends in all this? You need their support. This is where they're supposed to vent with you about what a scumbag he is, delete his number from your phone (or hold it hostage if necessary), and change your Facebook password so you can't get into it and do things you'll regret, etc. They stop you from looking awful when you can't do it yourself.

    You also need to get out in the world and find fun and interesting things to do, to take your mind off of this. The more time you have to dwell and obsess the worse it will be.

    Sorry that he was such an asshole, and that you're going through this. Hope things start looking up. Try to reach out to your friends to help.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You let him go and don't look back.

    Fill your life with positivity instead. Do what you need to do to move on. Volunteer, start dating again, take a class, pursue a dream. Move on.

    Don't let your life or behavior be defined by resentment and pain. Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Have him and all his girlfriends bumped off. Then you can't contact them anymore.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Just wanted to say feel free to message me. I have been there. We were together for 13 years. It hurts. Bad. Then you get angry. Then you become slightly self-destructive. Then you will be digusted. Then you will stop caring. Last, you will wonder wtf you were thinking.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know this is the last thing you want to hear and probably hear it often but, you need to leave him! Although you have been with him for 10 years he obviously isn't relationship material. Sure he will emotionally blackmail you to stay with him for xyz reason but you deserve better.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i understand how much you were devastated and really mad at him. Take a time to be mad for a little while, but don't take too long and don't do harmful things such as threatening. He is the awful one, so its his lost, not yours. You will only waste a time by being awful to him but it won't change a thing. You deserve to be happier and be with a better man. The right thing to do is lost contact with him, delete his number or remove any social media contact with him. Its for your own good, don't be afraid to let go the awful one and get a better one. Take your time for heart broken recovery and love again when you're ready, not when you're lonely.
    Hope it helps :)

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;