Am I a bad person because of this?

I like this guy. He's hot, funny, smart, sweet... whole package. When we met, he was in a very long term relationship, so we became close friends, and I didn't try to push it any further than that. I found out recently that he and his girlfriend have been having serious problems for a while, and they just broke up because he doesn't want to be with her. He has been flirting more and more over the last few weeks, since I found out about his relationship problems, and he told me everything that was happening.

My problem is that my friends think I've done something horrible, that I'm partially responsible for their breakup because we've been talking so much. They think I'm disgusting for getting so close to a guy in a relationship. At the time, we really were only friends, but we did hang out alone to watch movies, eat, etc. No flirting, nothing.

Am I really a bad person? Is it so bad to be best friends with a guy who has a girlfriend? Did I ruin their relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I think either you don't know the meaning of the word "friend" and even less "best friend" OR you're a hypocrite.

    You started by saying "I like this guy. He's hot, funny, smart, sweet... whole package". So you ALREADY ADMIT you're attracted to him (why wouldn't you? You said it yourself, he's hot, smart, etc)... Then you try to say "but we were really just friends"... Like I'm supposed to believe you didn't fantasize at least once of getting pounded by him while you were "friends".

    If you were his friends, especially "best friend" you would NEVER let anything sexual get between you and him. It would NEVER be that way, you would see him as your brother almost. But you don't and never did. Because you find him hot.

    You deceive people and probably yourself by making it look like your presence in his life was innocent. But it wasn't.

    I'm not saying you're responsible for him breaking up with his girlfriend. Nobody knows why he broke up. However I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate your man to "hang out, eat out, watch movies" with another woman... Don't tell me you wouldn't be a little jealous and suspicious about her intentions.

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    • Perhaps it would be more accurate to say our relationship was purely friendship. Nothing went past friendly joking and hanging out.

      Secondly, friends, even best friends, can easily become more to each other. It happens, and you're delusional if you think it doesn't.

      Last, if I'm dating someone, I trust him. I don't mind who he's friends with, as long as it doesn't interfere with our relationship. Jealousy is a poor basis for a relationship.

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    • Okay we can be friends. You win.
      Stop being bitchy. :)

    • Wow! You've had relationships with two girls!! Bow down to the master of all human communication!!

      You're still an idiot, clearly. I've had a lot of male friends, in fact, most of my friends are. I've had some that I've had no attraction to, some that I find very physically attractive, and even some that I've had casual sex with and am still friends with.
      This is something that happens often with people. You, apparently, live under a rock. Or, perhaps more appropriately, a bridge, since you're probably a troll.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, in my eyes, you are a bad person. This happened with my ex. We were together for 3 years, then we both mutually met this other girl who became very close to us and our mutual friends, we all hanged out and stuff like that. She was a flirty type, she flirted with everyone, but she she couldn't do that with my boyfriend because he was mine, a delicious forbidden fruit. And he didn't pay attention on her at first. Then she used her little sneaky peaky immature tricks to get my boyfriend by his balls and to become his "friend". She was licking my asshole, wanting to be close to me too just so she can have the "approval" for my boyfriend hanging out with her. She wanted me to like her. I believe she didn't even like my boyfriend, she just wanted whats taken, it was a challenge for her. She wasn't even aware of it, I believe her that her intentions weren't to steal him at, she just liked him a little bit more then friend and she wanted to fool around. Eventually, by teasing my boyfriend with "oh shut up, don't look at me, you have a girlfriend!" she awakened the hunter instinct in him. By saying no to him she got him pleading for her, for something he can't have. He eventually lost interest in me (I wonder why) and dumped me. And then he went chasing after her. He got her eventually, fucked her like a slut she is, and then he soon after came back to me crying like a baby. I never forgave him nor ever will, I hear he is going around saying how he's gonna commit suicide because he can't forgive himself. She then met someone else, a new pray or whatever, and is not happy and doesn't give a shit, while both me and my ex boyfriend ended up being heartbroken and damaged. Especially me. So, yeah, you are a bad person.

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    • ... so why exactly does that make me a bad person? You are aware that I'm not the chick in your story, right?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • No you didn't do anything wrong.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If your friends can judge you so quickly for something they know nothing about then you dont have any real friends... I suggest you tell them that if they cannot support you then you are done and hang out with this guy... x

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    • Thanks... they were really nasty, when I didn't think I'd done a wrong.

  • I think things happen for a reason, clearly the guy was having problems already with her. I dont see any harm done as long as you guys diddnt have sex.
    You may have contributed to them falling out but ultimately he lost interest in her for whatever reason that may be. in my opinion you aren't at fault

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    • Thanks... we definitely didn't sleep together, nothing beyond ordinary friendly behavior.

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