Why is my ex still lying to me?

We were together for 3 years and broke up couple of months ago. He dumped me, never giving any explaination. I bugged him with questions, I wanted to know why. All he would say is "no", "yes" and "I don't know". I had to drag the words out of him. But 90% of those answers were "no", so I gave up eventually. I know he was lying about it all and for some reason he didn't want to give me honest answers. Like for example, one of the "reasons" he broke up with me was that he doesn't want a LDR anymore, that was actually the main reason, that's what he said. Then a month later when I got a job at his town, I told him about it and he said that that doesn't change anything. So, yeah, he was so lying. Anyways, he said he wanted to stay friends and blah blah blah, but he stopped contacting me like a month ago. I told him that I'm fine with not being friends, if he doesn't want me in his life I'm fine with that and I would like to know if that's the case, so we can delete each other and move on with our lives. He got so defensive, claiming how that is the least thing he wants, that he wants to stay in my life. And then he goes silent treatment on me. I texted him like 2 times during this month and he was so uninterested and didn't want to prolong the conversation. He did reply every time in the matter of seconds, putting smilies and stuff like that, but wouldn't ask anything back. I saw he started using facebook and I asked him how come, he told me it's something for uni, then I asked him if is it okay to add him and he said sure. So I did, and he didn't accept the request. He didn't decline it either. But I see he is becoming friends with other people, so that means I'm on hold. Like wtf? This is not the person I used to be in a loving relationship! It looks like he is doing it on purpose, like I did something so terrible to him that he wants to punish me, because he knows I hate lying. Is he a pathological liar? Why he keeps lying if there's nothing left to lose?
Why doesn't he just tell me to stop bothering him and that he is not okay with being facebook friends? Why didn't he tell me why he broke up with me? I tried talking to him before about this stuff but he would always get so defensive and innocent, making up excuses, like I'm stil his girlfriend and he needs to justify his actions. He doesn't want me or need me anymore, he has all the right in the word to ignore me or tell me harsh truth, so why isn't he? Is he doing this on purpose?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't really see why you care this deeply about it. I never understand the dynamic people have over exes. I erase them from my life once we break up. Unnessary stress and drama.


  • Here is the real question... Why don't you leave him alone?

    NOW before you get all upset that i am sounding harsh, let me finish. If you knew the REAL reason he broke up with you, would it change anything? He broke up with you, it is that simple. The two of you were not for each other.

    And instead of just letting him go as he wishes, you cling on to him. That isn't love either. You will be fine... There are 6.2 billion people in the world. He is not the only one... but you will never see what else is out there for you as long as you cling on to him.

    I wish you well.

    • Who said I love him? I don't love him anymore and I'm moving on. Seriously, after how poorly he ended things and still kept contacting me, why would I want him back? But yeah, I do want to know the reasons. Maybe you can't understand but IT WOULD make things easier for me.

    • I didn't say you LOVE him. But at one time you did. And so what i am saying is that, if you care for him or did, then let him go.

      And yes perhaps if he told you, you would feel better.. but i doubt it. Nonetheless, you are the one on here asking questions and saying "Why doesn't he just tell me to stop bothering him and that he is not okay with being facebook friends?" This is a sign of you clinging on to him, when everything he is saying should tell you to move on.

      I am not saying he is being nice about this. He isn't and I am sorry for you. It shouldn't be that way. I wish you well.

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