I broke up with him, got back again and want out after a month but not sure if I should?

I'm gonna explain in details so you guys can analyze and help me. Please bear with me.
I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who lives in a different country. We met at a bar when I was traveling in the city where he lived. That was the last night before my flight back, so he took me to see places I hadn't been to and after a few hours he held my hand and acted like we were lovers. I wasn't interested, but didn't protest (still half drunk). I gave him my business card before leaving for the airport. 2 days later I got an email from him asking for my number. Then we whatsapped. A month later I asked him to go with me on a weekend trip in his home country. We first met in April, then met again in his hometown in July.
He tried to have sex with me on the first night we met again. But I couldn't. He told me to forget about it. We went out together and had so much fun.
After that, we texted and called frequently. In a year, I flew to see him 3 times, he came to my city only once. I was extremely busy with work but still tried to schedule a few days every 3 months to see him. During the time we were together, a lot of times he ignored my messages for 1-2 days. I told him that upset me, that if he was busy then tell me he won't be able to talk for a few days. He apologized, gave excuses but after the first few times he gave no explanation at all, just said he wouldn't do it again, but still did. Sometimes he ignored me over the weekend. I knew he wasn't busy because he uploaded photos of him going out on his instagram (which I don't follow, only checked when he ignored me). He always avoided talking about his feelings for me or wether he wanted to end the distance. I got tired. But he always treated me so well when I came to see him. He also sounded sincere when he apologized or said he missed me. So I put aside my doubts.

(tbc)

Updates:
4 months ago, I decided to break up with him because the lack of communication and all the uncertainty made me feel emotionally drained. But he kept saying he still wanted to be with me. So I agreed to meet again and talk about wether we should go on or not. I told him to make plan this time.
He promised to give me a schedule after 2 days. I waited in total silence and when the "deadline" was over, I texted him (my text was only, "[his name]?", nothing else). He gave me the silent treatment for 2 more days. Then I decided I had enough. I texted him that I don't want to meet again. He didn't text back.
The post-breakup was more painful than I thought. And after 2.5 months, I emailed him. He texted me, said he missed me, and kept thinking about me even before my email.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is why I do not believe in LDR. You both want things that each other cannot give. You two have missed the "getting to know each other phase" and jumped right into some kind of dating phase too quickly because the LDR situation you are in. He wants sex, and you are not ready yet, this is conflict. You probably don't want sex because you don't know him well enough, this is another problem directly due to the LDR. Right now it is just too messy. I think you both should dating other people that you can actually see every day.

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    • Thank you for your answer. Final part of my question that wasn't posted due to word limit: We talked again, but less frequent. I always had to initiate the conversations. Recently he traveled to Europe but didn't tell me. I checked his instagram. I saw an account he's followed recently. That's a girl who lives in the same city as him. He liked almost every single post of her provocative selfies even the ones from years ago. She neither follows him, nor likes any of his insta posts. I assume he has her number because she doesn't tag her photos and they're not facebook friends so the only way for him to know her ig account is through phone number. He still says he wants to talk to me, still answers my messages... Should I confront him or just let it fade? How should I tell to him? He never never said I was his girlfriend or anything like that. When I asked what he would say if someone asked him if he was still single, he said: "I'll tell them I'm talking to you".

    • He may be tip toeing around the truth that he would rather date someone local and not be in a LDR to try to avoid hurting your feelings. All you can do is ask him to be a man and tell you the truth. Ask him flat out if he is interested or seeing someone else and/or where do you two stand. Then you will have a clearer answer of your situation. Good luck!

    • Thank you for your answers!
      Have a nice day :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • move on... just move on. You would be his priority if he wanted you.. and you are not. I am sorry.

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    • Thank you for your answer. Final part of my question that wasn't posted due to word limit: We talked again, but less frequent. I always had to initiate the conversations. Recently he traveled to Europe but didn't tell me. I checked his instagram. I saw an account he's followed recently. That's a girl who lives in the same city as him. He liked almost every single post of her provocative selfies even the ones from years ago. She neither follows him, nor likes any of his insta posts. I assume he has her number because she doesn't tag her photos and they're not facebook friends so the only way for him to know her ig account is through phone number. He still says he wants to talk to me, still answers my messages... Should I confront him or just let it fade? How should I tell to him? He never never said I was his girlfriend or anything like that. When I asked what he would say if someone asked him if he was still single, he said: "I'll tell them I'm talking to you".

    • I would just leave it alone... You may not be his girlfriend, but you are not his priority as i said. I mean if you were even close you would think he would say "Hey, I am going to Europe for a few weeks" or whatever. You didn't even rate that. (Unless he works for an airline or something and it is common for him...) So for whatever reason, he has his eyes elsewhere. So you go find someone that has eyes for you! I wish you well...

    • Thank you so much for your opinion.
      Guess I'll just leave it alone.
      Have a great day!

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