Girls, what was life like after domestic violence?

My best friend went half a thousand miles across the country to be with her ex, now ex again. After only 3 months he wound up in jail for domestic violence and that's all she'll tell me, well did. We've been friends for 7 years, after the first time those 2 broke up I told her how I felt about her. The whole we've been by eachother forever, we would be very happy together. Anyway she answered her ex's calls to her and started talking to him. Oh the stories of "I changed" which I've herd a million times, my mom was in a 5 year relationship with a guy just like him. He destroyed our home at one point, took thousands of dollars from us. I was only 13 by the time she finally got rid of him, still happy as fuck about that too 8 years later here. She wouldn't listen to me about how bad things would get and sadly I was right, I really want her to be happy even if it's without me. I told her that if she lets him back in her life that I wouldn't be there. Thats how it was for almost 4 months untill we started talking again about a week ago. I can tell she see's me differently than she did those months ago. As friends, we put up with eachother's faults because well we're friend right? One of the first things she said to me, was the biggest thing I do that bothered her. Something she would never do the whole time we had known eachother. She tries to be sexy for me durring more intamite moments, very succesfully I might add. I'm verry happy that she's alright and home safe.

I haven't been hearing from her much for the past few days though. She says that she just sleeps all day, works and sleeps some more. 7 years and she's never really done anything like that, it worries me yet not at the same time. She's wonderfuly strong and has an amazing head on her shoulders, I know she can handle anything life throws at her. I'm asking here because I don't want to say "You're different. Why is that?"


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  • I know one of your biggest fear is your girl involving herself once again with the abusive ex boyfriend.
    But sadly I must say, she is human and will make mistakes.
    Some of which she may not learn from right away.
    Sometimes it takes people years to learn from their mistakes , sometimes never.
    You have to understand although your words have the power to influence they do not have the power for her to stop her negative actions unless she is willing.
    "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink".
    Sad but true.

    I wish your best friend all of the best.
    The observations you have taken notice of in your friendship may be because she's scared to tell you what's really going on

    If you don't want to share the awkwardness of the talk "Why are you acting differently"? You're going to have to sit back and continue to observe things until they become more apparent.

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    • I understand that, I wasn't trying to force her to do what I wanted to... well I did a little I won't lie. She was calling me up and talking to me balling her eyes out, trying to kill herself at one point because of the guy. I just didn't have the stamina to keep up with that again. I think you're right, I might give it another week or so before I try talking to her just to be sure.

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