Does taking a break work?

My boyfriend says we should take a break. He says he's not giving up on us, but we wants us to be friends for now. He always says that he doesn't think he can met my expectations... he kept telling me not to make things harder... what does this mean? He means so much to me. What can I do to not loose him?

Updates:
We have talked about it and decided to start over and be friends and we will date when we really know each other. He said he doesn't know what to do to make this relationship work.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually, this only works if one person has it better than he or she realizes. Once they go out and explore the field a bit, they soon figure out how much better it was having a significant other, and come crawling back.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend was the same way, minus the common courtesy of saying he wanted to take a break instead he just plain old broke up with me for no valid reason. We were dating for close to nine months and all of a sudden, the day after we had sex, I did not hear from him for a whole week and he kept on brushing me off when I tried to talk to him. He had written to me saying Happy Easter, but I ignored him. The next day he asked me something and I asked him if he still loved me, he responded saying no and that he wanted to break up with me. I was devastate and I wanted to rip his head off two days after he had texted me and wanted to chit chat. After that we remained friends for close to three months and he kept on acting like he was going to another state to be with this other girl, he was trying to make me jealous and I just did not show it at all. He would then say he was going to do something after he got me ticked, trust me if my mother was not forcing me to continue talking to him I would have just stop talking to him after he broke up with me.
    Then three months later he started his little game again and I just responded with saying "It's alright, I'll just go talk to the other guy". He got extremely jealous after that and he literally begged me for a whole day to take him back and that he would change. His reason for breaking up with me was due to him being afraid of falling in love and he did not know how to treat someone he actually has feelings for, I believe he was heavily abused by his parents.
    I believe in second chances and I gave him it. We've been together for four months and he is so much better now and we both feel comfy.

    Moral of the story: It might be best to take a break with your boyfriend if he asks for it, he could be falling for you and is scared of it. Just give him time and space to figure things out. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you, as my mother would say, and so is your boyfriend.
    Hope this helped. Have a good day.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • They've never worked in my experience. Let's take a break is code for "I'm going to go roam and get some side pussy; if shit doesn't work out I'll call you someday".

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  • No it does not work. It means that he is going to do whatever he wishes to do. You are going to watch with a broken heart and hope he comes back to you. So either the two of you figure out a way to make it work... or you let him go. but this path will just break your heart. He needs to man up and tell you the truth.

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  • No, never. it prety much means 'let break up and sleep with other people for a while and MAYBE get back together'

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  • You have already lost him but the process simply hasn't been completed yet. "I want to take a break" is a coward's way of breaking up with you.

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  • Me and my girlfriend took a "break" and wanted to start over as friends. We haven't gotten back together and she told me she's moving on.

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    • dude it happen with my girlfriend she want me as a friend but we never work becasue as a friend she is not giving me any chance to call her on the Skype as a friend she told me that friends don't talk much or every day she messaging me late or she messaging me like after 4 days that really weird for me then i always mad at her that she messaging me like this then i abuse her but i don't think I abuse her but i am bad in English that she take words wrong and the she says fuck of to me

  • Taking a break does not fix the problem, what expectations do you have of him and what does he think you want from him?

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  • It might, I'm currently taking a break from my girlfriend , I told her I want a break because we were arguing to much.

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    • How is that going because my boyfriend and I are a rollercoaster now.

    • At the moment it's going good from my side, I'm enjoying not having arguments, but whether it works out good in the end we will see.

      Before we get back together i'm just going to tell her that I'm not having anymore arguments over stupid things and banning topics, and if that doesn't work might just end it, but hopefully by having a break it will be good.

  • To me, that's an indicator that things aren't going to work out. If I hear someone say that they're "on a break", it means that the relationship is essentially over.

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  • Stay friends.

    A break doesn't really work, but if its mutual, its at least an attempt to slow things down. Sometimes work and other stress sources require you to give a break.

    Also, he said he hasn't given up. trust in him

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  • Just take a break and don't think it's you that caused it to happen
    cause it takes two for any relationship to work ,

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  • That means he doesn't want to be restricted to only you. Sounds like he just wants to sleep around to me.

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  • No, In my experience there is a relatively small chance of that working

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  • him wanting to take a break means he is sleeping with other girls

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  • That's a break up.

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  • Take a break. Just be there for him.

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  • "Taking a break" is a death sentence to a relationship. He doesn't like you like that anymore, and is trying to let you down easy

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What Girls Said 22

  • He may be telling you 'We should take a break,' @JessTheMess, but in Essence, he is also being this Honest John in being a straight out shooter who is also laying it on the fine line of telling you that along with this 'Break,' he wants it to be this Way even after the fact.
    I realize you love him but you need to start focusing on yourself now. As wise as I am, I read between the lines and he is Not into a Real Relationship and is choosing to Be... Friends for now.
    Good luck. xx

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  • You, ma'am, are dating a coward.

    He wants out but is too cowardly to actually end things himself.

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  • I wouldn't put up with that, because it seems like one of two things: He wants to break up but still keep you around as an option in case he changes his mind. Or he doesn't want anything more to do with you and is letting you down easy. Either way it is better to just break up so you can start getting over him without a thought that this will eventually work.

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  • What " expectations " is he talking about?

    Bc it sounds like he's just tossing cliches at you.

    Do you have any idea what he's talking about?

    Bc if not you should ask... If he can't be honest with you then he's bit taking you seriously and you should break up with anyone who doesn't respect you.

    To me it sounds like a game. Break des bit mean game but in this case he just sounds like he's being manipulative. But you didn't guve much detail... We can help you better if you tell us more:)

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  • I'm sure it has worked for some couple somewhere, but I don't think it generally works out. If you feel the need to take a break, then there's something seriously wrong in the relationship. If you can't work through it while remaining a committed couple, what makes you think that breaking up temporarily will fix it?

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  • give him what he wants, I know is hard but when you do the opposite of what they ask they tend to run away, trust me. if you want him, give him the space, don't contact him unless he contacts you.. you will see he will come back running

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    • THank you. You're the only one who was positive.. thanks so much <3

    • He'll come back to a doormat... If she has to shut up and bend to his will to keep him what's the point.

      This is not a positive response it's a humiliating plan.

  • He means you two should take a break and maybe you'll change your mind about your expectations. If nothing changes you two are done - by the way., you're way too young to be making huge demands of each other. Maybe he feels that way and isn't sure about the relationship.

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    • We don't know she's expecting anything. That could just be something he says it's a thing people say when they just want to do whatever they want. You should ask her what he's talking about before judging her for doing it.

    • @Azara I'm giving the Asker his perspective... not judging.

  • You deserve to be with someone that can't even stand the thought of ever losing you.. Dont settle for less because of one person.. There are 7 billion people out there

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  • Usually it's the beginning of the end

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  • Give him space. You'll have a better chance of keeping/bringing him back than if you refuse the break

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  • May as well start dating someone else.

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  • If you mostly feel like he is trying to let you down easy I would say tell him to shove his break haha. It may hurt an awful lot to let him go and you may love him, but it will save you a lot of heart break in the long run. He sounds like his is cowarding his way out of things, and if he loved or even respected you he would have the courage to tell it to you straight rather than leaving you hanging. Find someone who loves you for who you are and doesn't hold things against you like his own insecurity's and doubts!

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  • No, commit or don't.

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  • From what I heard, no. People are just testing if they can live without the other person with the safety net option.. and they usually find out that they can or they get back together and break up soon later.

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  • That really means he wants to fuck someone else.

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  • I'm sorry.

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  • To me, taking a break is only prolonging the inevitable. If he doesn't want to be with you or isn't excited to be with you now, then it's not meant to be. If he wants to work on things, and wants the relationship, then why try to fix the relationship apart? Makes no sense to me. Sounds like an excuse to get out.

    He said he doesn't feel he can meet your expectations, so it sounds like there is something going on. Do you feel your expectations for him might be too high? Or is he not willing to put in effort into the relationship?

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  • It means you are no longer his girlfriend
    Do not wait on him
    He's not waiting on you
    You are an option to him not a priority

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  • during my "break" with my boyfriend he cheated on me and went out and found himself a new girlfriend...

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  • You have to give him space. You can't hold onto him. The longer and harder you try to hold on, the more you will push him away.

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    • This is really bad generalization. You dint even know what's going on if he even really wants a break for Valid reasons. Or just wants to fuck around. There's not enough info to make An assessment.

      But in relationships people sometimes want different things and blaming a person for actually wanting to be IN a relationship they are in Is Messed up.

  • Im sorry.. this is a bit harsh :/... but If someone really cares they won't want a permanent break from you and they won't just want to be "friends". I do understand couples need time and space from eachother but they would never want a "break" unless they want other options. A lot of guys are sneaky in wording things so they dont hurt you and too make sure your still around when he's ready to come back. Girl its time to meet some better guys who would never think of wanting to jave a break and just be friends.. Ever!

    Though If you do still want him dont make it easy for him to come back! Make him miss you and make him never want to leave you again If he does come back to you. If he can't handle it then he's not the right one for you.

    I've been through and have seen many others go through this , and for them a "break" usually ended up meaning I want to date or see other girls, butttt I still want you in my back pocket just incase they dont want me... though most would never admit it... its sad but true.

    It could be diffrent for you there are always exceptions but please dont dont be that back pocket girl.

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  • it never works!

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