It's been hard to forget! Some help, pls?

Hi, i'm here to ask for some help! It's been already 7 months and I still think about my ex. I cry at times while thinking about him and i feel stupid for this. We were together for about 5 months and now we live in different countries. We broke up mostly because of my insecurities. He insisted in being friends with me, (which i accepted bcs well, i still had stepng feelings for him) because he "didn't want to loose me as a person, bcs i'm a good person", but the thing is: we were never friends before. After breaking up, we saw each other 3 times, the last two times he was already dating someone new.. He didn't told me about it, i had to ask. i still think about him because of the good memories we made together and because i ask myself: why does he wants to be friends? Why does he wanted to meet me up while dating other person? i want to forget him for real.
What should i do? Can you advice me for the best?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The truth is, you need to focus on loving yourself instead of someone else. He left you. Should you really want someone who's willing to do that for you? Would you have ever done the same thing that he did?

    Do you really want to care for someone who doesn't care nearly as much for you?

    If you want to forget him, find something to do. Not some small hobby. Something important. A job. An education. Something to steal your mind away from falling in love for a while.

    I used to be the same way. Until a relationship made me realize that my opinion on love couldn't be trusted if I can't love the most important person in my life.
    (Me)
    Expecting anything else is selfish, basically asking the other person to do what I can't. To carry my weakness through the relationship, and to knowingly push that on to someone I care about is a shameful way to live.

    You are the only person you need to care about. Everything else comes afterwards. And only you can find out how to make that happen.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey sweetie! <3

    Of all the girls who have gone through similar occasions, I will say forgetting an ex is probably one of the most hardest things a woman can ever do besides giving birth to a child.
    In such cases, we continuously mourn over it because it was the best time we ever had with someone, we really felt connected to the person and losing them was the worst. It felt like our whole world just tumbled to the ground without any warning. Besides trying to get over someone and trying to be there friend, I could never do that with any of my exes because I did grow to really like them-and it hurt to see them with someone new. You'd think you should be happy for them but sometimes being happy for them can be even harder when you have to watch it all occur. For an example, it has been six years since the man I thought I had loved vanished from my life forever. Did I ever stop thinking about him? No. Did I ever stop wondering how he was or what he was doing? No.
    What did I do then?
    I cried continuously, I listened to depressing music and I took that time to heal. Even though I'm still not fully recovered. I started making goals for myself, accomplishing those goals, and staying busy. Toward the very last of it, It began to hurt less and less and it doesn't hurt now, as bad as it did then. I just figured, he'd always have a place in my heart, and I'd never forget him. Because what we had, to me, was the most wonderful times I had ever had. And because of him, I was able to have those memories of us and still keep them locked inside but no more had to continuously cry. I just learned to accept, and learned to forgive and here I am now, with a man I'm about to marry, and we have a daughter. And I thought to myself, if I never met this man I loved at first, I would have never learned who not to be with. I would have never of learned from anything that was taught to me and because of him, I have more than I could ever ask for and he has a beautiful girl that sticks by his side, more than I ever could, who loves him fully and unconditionally. How could I not be happy for both of us, when being in each others lives taught us so much and taught us how to move on?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Unfortunately, you've made the pain continues on and one
    you need to realize that breaking up does't mean you're a bad person, but it just means that his part in your story is over

    you won't be able to take any decision if you don't forget about him and the past
    and one of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too

    its time to free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to be happy
    forget about the past and Don't hold your feelings inside you more than that,'ll hurt you
    just let it pass peacefully

    start new life, fresh dreams
    there a lot of beautiful things in this life you don't know about it
    its your decision to live a happy life or not

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What Girls Said 3

  • Take a few days (at least) to sit with your emotions and let them move through you.

    Every time you resist feeling an emotion it goes down to the basement to lift weights. So if you ignore the frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, or pain that is present in your body, it will only get stronger and come back louder than before until you listen to the signals.

    Good luck.

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  • if you really want to forget him, then block him from everything and distract yourself every time you think about him.

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  • I think you should just face him with the truth, tell him you're still having feelings for him and you're still trying to get over him and so the best option for you is to stop seeing him at all, to stop contacting him, to remove him from social media, it's not going to be easy I assure you that but time heals all wounds and Im sure you will start to gradually think about him less and less and eventually just move on, just try to be more socially active with other people, try to go out with someone else and save this energy for someone new who seems to have a mutual interest etc etc.. And you will forget... Hopefully!

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