Why have none of my exes ever come back to me?

So this is sortof a painful topic for me. I've asked my girlfriends, and anytime they've had a breakup, the guy always comes back to them. I have never experienced this. And I have had several painful breakups in the last 5 years to where I just gave up entirely and stayed single for over 2 years. I recently met a great guy by random chance, that fell head over heals for me just as much as I did for him. It was perfect how everything worked out. He was exactly the kind of guy I was looking for: nerdy, adventurous, awkward, weird (seriously, girls don't like him) and not one to follow the crowd. However, he was just coming out of a 4 year relationship, 3 months before we met. I even asked him if he was ready for this, and he reassured me that he was, given that his ex was never around for months before the breakup. He had been lonely for a very long time. So I went with it. 2 months later, we broke up. He told me that he was not ready for a relationship, BUT he didn't want to break up. After 2 or 3 weeks of barely any contact (I knew more about what was going on in his life from social media than from him) and several long phone calls, I ended it. I didn't feel like he was ballsy enough to do it himself, but I felt like that's what he wanted. I didn't want it. But I didn't feel like I had a choice. We did commit fast, but we only saw each other on weekends anyways. That weekend, I made the mistake of blowing up his phone while he was out with his friends. (I was not drunk, btw) I pathetically poured my heart out to him via text and he took a screenshot of it and blasted me on social media instead of responding directly to me. That was 3 weeks ago. We haven't spoken since. I still think of him, I miss him terribly, and I don't understand where things went wrong. I wan't to believe that in time that we can forget and pick up from where we left off. But with my history of men that don't come back, I don't know if I'm lucky enough for that to ever happen..


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What Guys Said 2

  • Dealing with exes is bad news. As a rule I do not have any interaction with my exes and I don't allow myself exceptions. You'd do well to think the same way cause it allows you to move on a lot faster than otherwise.

    • Normally I would agree with you. But on this one I guess I just don't feel like we really had a chance. It was over as quickly as it started. And we never even fought until after the breakup. I just have never experienced one like this before.

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    • You may share in some of the responsibility of the break up, but from your description that's a bit of a reach. But no one deserves what you got.

    • Thanks for your perspective.

  • I guess its a case of "That ship has sailed". For me she could be the hottest woman on earth, but if she isn't into me then I'm not gonna chase her. As a guy I feel like it prolongs the hurt by keeping in touch knowing it won't go any further. Why would I want to be reminded of what happened?

    • I wanted it to go further. He knows I wouldn't turn him away, he has to. He was the one who suddenly changed. Life issues were making things hard on him, but the issues were already existent when he and I met. I feel like he regretted rushing in and was to much of a coward to back out so he left the dirty work up to me. Maybe he still has feelings for his ex even though she screwed him over bad. I don't know. But what I do know is that he was excited for us and then out of the blue he changed. I'm still flabbergasted over the whole thing.

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