Really need some advice on how to cope? Please give your advice.. sorry it's long please read?

Me and my ex was together 3 and half years, I was close to his family and he was mine, we lived together, was engaged and had only just booked our wedding for next year and started planning and telling people, he also brought my son up for 3 years as his own (not his real dad), the bond between them was amazing so in love with each other.
After a few rows my ex left me, before he left I found out I was pregnant with him he was on nights at work so I didn't tell him, before I did he left me, when I told him he one minute accused me of lying the next he wanted me to have a termination, even after me offering him proof he still wasn't having any of it nor was his family.
My ex said he wanted me to have a termination which eventually I did and it broke my heart, my ex has never got in touch to even see what I did or if I'm ok.
My ex became very bitter and nasty towards me, was going to take everything out the house, sold my sons car seat on his Facebook, completely turned his back on my son and wouldn't have a thing to do with me, wouldn't even text me over the house contents or about the house he would only text my Dad.
6 weeks after we split my ex had a new girlfriend, I found out a few days later it's his ex whic 2007 which made no sense, soon enough their was pictures of her, him and her child on Facebook like my son never meant anything to him.
I'm really struggling at the mintue to understand how he could do this and to deal with the devastation he left behind, it's hard to see him living this happy amazing life while I'm so unhappy and I'm struggling to deal with the devastation of it all, people say it gets easier but as each day goes on i feel more alone and the pain seems to get worse. I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how to cope? As at the moment it seems impossible..


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What Guys Said 1

  • I can't give advice on how to cope because I haven't been through this type of situation personally. Though the friends I know who have been through something similar were struggling for a bit before they found someone new. After they found another relationship, things would get substantially better for them. As to why he acted the way he did, I can relate to that: he loved you a lot; he was going to marry you, care for a child that wasn't his and bring a new baby into the world. Then, something happened where he felt he had to leave. Since he loved you so much beforehand though, he had to erase every sign of his love to you in order to move on with his life: so, the marriage, the care for your son and the child that was to be had to be terminated for him to have a (somewhat) clear conscious going forward. It was unfair to you; but when he withdrew, he wasn't thinking about your emotions, unfortunately.

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    • How could he have a new relationship so quickly?

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    • Because his emotional response (to love you) would have conflicted with his logical response (to leave you). Men aren't emotionally strong enough to reconcile those two situations, I hate to say.

    • Do you think he will ever think of my son and the 3 years?

What Girls Said 1

  • Six weeks isn't that quick to get into a new relationship. After breakups I can get into one a week later. This is a good example of why you shouldn't make someone your world because when they're gone you'll be left with nothing and feeling hallow inside. Your focus should be on your son, not pining after this guy. Get some dignity and try to be happy and live your life. Let him and everyone else see you can do better. Feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere, you'll stay in this emotional home. Get out there and try to do things with your son or do things that will make you happy and help you forget. That's a good step in getting over this.

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