Should I contact my ex first?

We broke up at the end of September. We've had no contact since. He's the one that left me... he blocked me on Facebook/msn etc Did the no contact thing ...we dated for 3 years btw. I recently noticed that he unblocked me on Facebook around Christmas... but I feel like I should wait for him to contact me first... but he hasn't. I'm still not over him... I think about him all the time...I've tried dating other people but I don't feel anything with anyone... not like I did with him. and I keep thinking if he wanted to talk to me he would have tried to contact me already right ? Or maybe he's just scared I don't know...cause the way he ended it was pretty brutal...and I wouldn't doubt that he thinks I hate him. he got a rebound girlfriend almost right away... and then he ended that recently...i guess the novelty wore off. I do have things of his that he would appreciate getting back... but I don't want to be the first one to initiate conversation cause I think it will make me look like an idiot...

what do you guys think ? should I try to talk to him or wait it out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • WHOA. this is me girl! I'm going thru same thing! we dated 3 years, broke up in sept because he cheated on me with my best friend, he ended things brutally with me, left me 3000 dollars in debt, and then blocked me on all the social networking sites eventho I haven't even tried to contact him! he hasn't unblocked me from them... like ur ex has done with you. I think the reason they blocked in the first place is because they are taking out their mistakes on us. trying to make us feel bad, because deep down they feel bad and know they screwed everything up. FIRST of all, I know ur ex still thinks about you a ton. you guyz dated 3 years! and also, the fact that he unblocked says that he was thinking about you. what he is doing here is he is waiting to see if you will write to him. that's EXACTLY why he unblocked you... perhaps he is afraid to write to you because he doesn't want to put his pride down and is afraid you may tear him to shreds. if a man isn't willing to put his pride down than he ain't worth it! especially if he is the one that ended things so horribly! trust me, leave the contacting up to him. you will feel better about it in the long run, and to what it sounds like to me.. he is starting to cave. he wants to talk to you baddd. DO NOT message him. He will eventually cave strong enough and enough time will pass so that he will message you. it sounds like a dumb game... but I really think you should hold out. he owes you an apology if he wants you back and he should b the one contacting and showing he cares and kissing ur ass since he's the one that ended things! in anycase, he def. unblocked you because he is hoping you'll write to him... but don't do it. if you write to him ur letting him know that what he did to you and ur relationship was acceptable and ur willing to take him back easily. he needs to man up and be a man now. until then, you need to try to stop worrying about it and thinking so much about it and carry on with ur life. he can be an onlooker! and btw.. I'm not over my ex either so I understand what ur saying... but sometimes we need to just face things and realize that we were treated wrong and need to find someone better. I mean, come on! he totally dropped you for 3 months and even blocked you out of his life after spending 3 years with him?! that's bullsh*t that you DON'T deserve.

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    • Lady you need to learn to type in paragraphs, it'll makes it easier to read... intead I'm pointing my finger alone my computer screen and my eyes are hurting.

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    • And btw... if a guy IS over it that quickly... he has some sort of personality disorder!!! I swear!! lol that's just not normal...

    • Omg my ex just unblocked me hahaha. so now I'm in the same boat as you!!! anyway, I'm still not gonna talk to him first! he's a jackass!!!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Very similar situation to me as well. We were together 2 1/2 years, and she broke it off with me in August and we've had no contact since. New Years eve though, my buddies girlfriend (who is her friend) said that she had wished me well.. I didn't hear from her on Christmas and New Years, and I didn't message her at all. I'm still definitely not over her.. Today was a very very hard day for me for some reason.. I also have tried dating others, yet nothing compares to her. Despite how she treated me, and the shallow way she broke it off.. the good times outweigh the bad. She ignored any past attempts I've made to get in touch with her and its been 3 months since I have last.. She probably thinks I hate her as well.. Do I initiate first? Or just work on moving on? I'd say you should try.. I am sure he'd appreciate hearing from you. Guys have a lot of pride.

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    • Im sure that ur ex gfs friend told her that you don't hate her tho rite? cause if she did, then it just sounds like she was just being sincere in wishing you well with ur life and that could b it?

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    • Well that's good that you told the friend that you don't hate her! hopefully it will get back to her... because then that rules out the possibility that she is afraid to call you cause she may think you hate her. if she still doesn't call, then there's only 2 other reason for that.... she just doesn't want to talk or perhaps sees it as too late to fix anything. in anycase, wait it out... see what happens.. and by wait I mean a few months. if she still hasn't called, you should call her if you still want 2 b with her

    • Thats just my advice, but I think its pretty sound.

What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if you're contacting him about something that's casual like giving his stuff back, then sure go contact him. Because well, it is his stuff. However, if you want to start speaking about relationship stuff and whatnot, then I suggest you not do that because seeing as he ended it brutally and then blocked you on Facebook...I don't think he really wants to talk about that.

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    • We got back together. its all good.

  • Don't call her a rebound girl, you don't know if the only reason he dated her was for rebound. Sounds like something pretty harsh from your side for a guy who dated you for 3 years wanting to ignore you that much. blocking you etc...

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    • After spending 3 years with someone, trust me!!! that girl was a rebound girl!!! he is definately not over her! it will take at least 6 months to a year to get over a realtionship that lasted that long. don't minimize this girls relationship with her ex. 3 years is a VERY long time. I mean... look at ur past and how much you went thru in 3 years! I'm sure alot.

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