My ex is having a casual relationship with someone and it's eating me alive?

How do I cope with this? He dumped me 6 months ago and we were together for 3 years. Basically his fear of commitment came to the surface and he bailed out. What bugs me the most is that we were in a LDR, we visited each other every second month or so and then would spend like 2 weeks together, and he said that was suffocating him, that he wished that either we lived together (where we have our own space, our own PC's and like stuff to do seperatelly, because while we were together we would do and be together 24/7) or if we lived in the same city and saw each other every day for few hours. He also hated coming to my country because my country is really fucked, poor and dangerous. But he said it's nothing to do with me, that I'm amazing and that now he just wants to be free and on his own. Anyways I think he is a selfish douchebag and that all of this is just a BS, so I kind of moved on. Then he met a girl at his class few weeks ago and he told me he's having casual relationship with her, nothig serious. And now I feel like I didn't move on because I can't stop thinking about them. What eats me the most is the fact that she is from his town and he can have with her everything he couldn't with me. The two of us kind of jumped into a relationship, and with her he is building it up like it should be. And he is probably gonna fall for her and eventually move in with her. I feel like it's not fair because I was the one broken hearted and I thought I'm gonna find someone before he does, but it's so empty here, this country and culture and people are so weird, it's hard finding anyone not even for sex. Guys here NEVER approach, we girls have to do everything, and when we do we are labeled as sluts. Now that I know that he is having sex I want to do the same more then ever, but I can't. I am moving there next year because I got a job there and I just can't wait to leave this shithole. How do I stop thinking about the two of them? I'm so jealous.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you've got to let go of all that negativity. You're the only one hurting and it sounds totally self-inflicted.

    Fill your life with positivity. Take a class, make art, volunteer, travel, meet a new guy. Occupy your thoughts and feelings with exploration and novelty.

    Since you posted this anonymously, I wish you had said what country you're talking about. :) I'm very curious. I'd like to know what this "fucked" country is. I can think of a few candidates.

    Good luck on your journey.


Most Helpful Girl

  • LDR are One of the Hardest to Have and to Uphold of Any here, dear. I. for one, can tell you probably the best from the rest on here because as I write this, I still have a husband out in Egypt whom I have Not seen in a few years, not due so much as his country being 'Poor' But... Dangerous. It has gotten worse since I was last there...
    He found someone closer to home and to his heart and knowing Now what you do Know, slowly lick your war wounds and go on from there. No contact is the best baby step in trying to forget and No contact at all, is also a sure bet.
    'Next year' is a long ways off and a lot can happen from now until then. Hopefully by Then, you would have moved on, heart included, and make sure even if you run into him, you don't ever wear your heart on your sleeve again.
    Good luck. xx


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What Guys Said 1

  • He is your 'ex'. So it's not like he's cheating on you. If he has a casual relationship, it's HIS choice.


What Girls Said 1

  • You need to forget about him me and my ex were together for four years and engaged for about a month and after I broke up with him he found a girlfriend the second week we broke up it got me pissed me off that he didn't even wait a month but he guess what I moved on but taking care of my life that's what you should


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