I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years because he had no desire to get married (at all) or find himself a career (he works retail part time). He knows that's something that's very important to me and i decided it was best to walk away and focus on myself.
Well Its two weeks later, and today he told me loves me more than anything and that he's never been more sure of anything in his life. He said he's always wanted to marry me and have a family but he's terrified of failure and he doesn't know how to go about beginning to find a career that suits him (he's 31 and doesn't want to attend college, I've been suggesting trade school). He says all he knows is he never wants to say goodbye to me and he wants us to be together.
I don't know what to do. I love him and of course hearing this is all i ever wanted.. But why the sudden change? Why now is he telling me all this? Is it at all possible he's experiencing the "didn't know what you had until it was gone" feelings?
At this point i feel like we need to be alone to have time to grow. Lord knows i would love for us to end up together in the end.. But should i not hold my breath?
Most Helpful Guy
"But why the sudden change? Why now is he telling me all this? Is it at all possible he's experiencing the "didn't know what you had until it was gone" feelings? "
You answered your own question and you answered it perfectly. Being away from someone you love gives you a really good chance to realize just how much you love that person. That's why he has changed his mind.
He sounds to me like someone that will be loyal to you, stick by you, and make changes in his own life in order to give you what you want.
Everyone has their 'enough is enough' part, however petty it will seem to some on the outside. You'll likely get men calling you selfish - and perhaps even some women. But if you feel like you need a person that is going to be mature, have goals in life, and strive to become better, then that's something that is important to you.
Honestly, if you were together for four years and the only reason you broke it off with him is because you didn't feel like he was progressing enough, then there is definitely something to work with here.
What I would suggest that you do is go back into it slowly. Date him and let him know that you still have feelings for him (if you do - don't lie, though). Let him know you just want him to better himself, and you as a couple, and make sure he's aware that you'll support him in his continued education and decision to change jobs.
But if that's something you can't get over, or don't believe that he'll change, then you'll just have to make that decision for yourself.
Good luck. I hope this helps.0