Would you think your ex is clingy/desperate if she emailed you?

He hasn't talked to me in six months even though I don't believe we ended it badly... we didn't have a fight or anything. He seemed to be getting distant, I panicked and broke up with him and I still wonder if I should have stayed and fought for the relationship... I know I wanted him to. But he just let me break up with him.

So six months of no contact except I went to one of his shows and although he didn't seem to be unhappy that I was there, I really couldn't tell if he wanted me there or not. And now I want to send a birthday email saying how much I miss being with him and just because we're not close anymore doesn't mean I don't care about him...

Is this a bad move?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say that after six months, it's not the BEST move.

    One thing I'd like to point out here is this very telling comment: I know I wanted him to. But he just let me break up with him.

    It almost seems like you broke up with him just to see if he would ask for you to stay and that you thought it would bring you two closer together. Was this your intention?

    Whether it was or wasn't, you should never use the relationship as an ultimatum or a bargaining chip. That's not a very healthy thing to do and will almost certainly bite you in the ass, especially if the person is being distant.

    I would suggest that if you would like to get back together, start small. Just start talking to him again. If you feel like an email might prompt a conversation between you two, then do that, but don't blurt out every single thought you've had since you broke up, and certainly don't mention why you broke up with him.

    If he's interested in you, you'll know. If he's not, you'll know. If he's not interested, he'll keep the conversation cordial and brief. If he is interested, he'll likely say quite a few things or leave the conversation open with open-ended questions.

    But it sounds like you might chalk this one up as a loss and a lesson. Don't use your relationship as a bargaining chip. Many of us have personal policies that if a woman says "this or me," we'll pick the other thing just because the relationship is being held over our head and it's wrong.

    Women do this more often than you'd think, but I would imagine guys do it too - either way, it's never right.

    I hope this helps.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • if its been that long you should just let it go :/

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If he's at work he can't tell you whether he wants you there or not. It's called keeping it professional while leaving personal stuff out of the way.

    You already made your choice whether you want to give the relationship another go. So now its up to him to decide but always brace and prepare for the worse so that it won't feel as heavy if he decides no.

    You have to be straight up and honest. So best of luck!

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What Girls Said 1

  • a little... but he's probably moved on.

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