So, my boyfriend gets irrationally angry with me everyday?

We have been together for 4 years now, and its a constant struggle. We love each other deeply but sometimes enough is enough. I've probably moved out about 10-20 times, and I always end up moving back in within 24-72 hours. Its always because he is so angry with me over something TINY and remedial, and then he realizes what he did to me and begs me to come back. I'm tired of hurting my mom through this, having her see me so upset and having my relationship so unstable. He gets mad at STUPID things, and most of all he doesn't seem to grasp the concept of an accident. He has a chemical imbalance in his brain, and I'm pretty sure he's bipolar, or even a sociopath. But I love him through his flaws. If I mess up something tiny, like not having cornmeal when he wants to fry chicken, or I accidentally left the oven on for over an hour while we left the house, or the simple fact that my hearing is terrible (which he knows, and has always known) and if I ask him what he said or tell him that I couldn't hear him, he gets so irritated that he bursts into an unforgivable rage, calling me all kinds of names, telling me to shut the f*** up, publicly humiliating me, ext. But if I do these things to him its not okay. Not saying I would, because I honestly do have pure and innocent intentions with everything I do in life. But if something doesn't go his way, its pack your sh** and get the f*** out of my house. And I've gotten so used to this that I don't hesitate to pack my things (I have a lot of stuff) but the entire time im upset that he is speaking to me so badly, but for some reason I still want to stay. I have so much hope in him and I know that we could stay together, but only if I bow down to his commands. He is very controlling, and I am very aware of that. But I have a problem with it, because both of us are dominant people. Any advice?

Updates:
So I have a really hard time moving on, when I leave I stay up all night crying until I fall asleep. I even wake up the next morning crying, trying to go through my day with my eyes filled with tears. all I think about is him. If he treats me so badly, why do I want to stay with him?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you to leave. guys like this won't change. it'll get worse til he kills you. you're young, don't waste anymore of your years or your love with this guy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would have left years ago irrespective of how much I loved him.

    I would not endure someone treating me like a second class citizen in their life.

    I would not endure someone pushing and pulling me emotionally like that.

    I would not be his verbal punchbag.

    I would leave and find a new man.

    And he needs to get some help because he's gotten used to treating this way and he won't ever see a need to change because he knows he doesn't have to.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • That would not work with me. Break dealer for sure. I want to feel relaxed in my daily life so if i have to be upset it's because serious stuff.

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    • I dont see things changing for you, unless science finds a cure for his problem...

    • You want to stay with him because maybe you dont know to much people...

What Girls Said 5

  • You Feel this Dependency in a relationship that you have been in for a long time. It's Routine, Regular, and this Full circle problem pattern has brought you Not only to Tear, but to your knees as You... Bow down to his commands, which you surely do.
    It's never going to get better. He definitely has Mental issues and it will only get worse as time goes by, going down a bad beaten boy path of Trouble in Paradise, making this a Continued War of the Romance Roses.
    Take a break, go to your moms. Do some hard and long soul searching. Unless this madman gets some help and is put on a chill pill, I am sorry to say he is Not going to be any help or even a soul mate in this relationship.
    You will wake up some morning and may even ask yourself "Where has the time gone?" Being with him so long. With his anger issues and Nazi naughty ways, That only Increases as he gets Older and it could be toil and trouble where it Begins anew Beguine of have told yourself "I can't live without him," but ask yourself Now: Would I rather want to live?
    Good luck. xx

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  • As someone with bipolar it's quite sad when people confuse that kind of behavior with bipolar. Being bipolar means you get periods of depression followed by periods of mania when you are happier and more confident. Unless that sounds like him then please don't refer to someone like that as bipolar. It's a terrible stigma that hurts many of us on a daily basis. We're not angry violent people who get upset all the time over everything. That's not what bipolar is at all.

    Anyway your relationship sounds a mess. That's now what a healthy, happy and normal relationship looks like. I think you know it too deep down. Do you really want to be with someone like him for the rest of your life? Are you OK with accepting this behavior from your partner till the end? If not then get out and ask yourself why you are still even there. Your boyfriend has issues and needs to work on these problems before he can even dream to be with someone.

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  • You guys are incompatible, the fact that he made you get out of his house several times over minor issues shows how unstable he is, you should dump him.

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  • sorry but he seems to be unstable/manipulative... staying in a relationship with him is not healthy

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  • then stop speaking to him.

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