Why can't I just move on already? (and what is his problem)

I have a 2 year old son with my ex of about 5 yrs. Me and the baby moved out back in May and ever since his dad has been playing a lot of games. He knows I love him but couldn't take the cheating and the lying. It keeps going in the same cycle of we don't interact for a few weeks and then he's telling me how much he misses me or how he screwed up or is thinking about us moving back in...something to that effect...and so we start spending time together and when I choose to go through his phone or FB account to see if he's on the same stuff as before and I see that he is, he gets p*ssed at me ...tells me we need space and that's why we can't be together because I'm psycho/stalker... we recently started counseling and he told the counselor he didn't want to reconcile and we for about a week or 2 we didn't interact then after last weeks session he decides to put move on me and tells me maybe we can take things slow and see how it goes. Well I find out has a crush on this girl and he's been talking to her friend about it ... I know he's full of it and it makes me feel so sh*tty because I feel like the only use for me is when there isn't another girl in his life and he needs sex or company... I don't know y I keep falling for his crap and why its so easy for me to allow him back into my life. The times I've told him that I think he just uses me or tries to keep me around is just in case he doesn't find anything better. But that once some new chick grabs his attention I'm at the curb til something happens and they stop talking. ts like ii don't want to believe he's such an ass when all the signs are right in front of me. I don't know what to do anymore and it p*sses me off...i know ill be bringing it up tho at tomorrows counseling session!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he gets mad about you going in his phone and email there has to be something he is hiding. I know you know that deep down or you wouldn't be so upset about it. It's easier said than done to let someone go esp. if you have a child by them. But honestly, it sounds like you are being a puppet to him. He needs to do some "growing up" and realize what is impt in life. One day he will but it will take a long time and by then you prob will have found someone that treats you with the utmost respect. I am not an expert but my opinion is to let him fly... let him sow his wild oats somewhere else but not with your heart at stake. You can always love him but that doesn't mean you have to still be "in love" with him. He sounds like he treats you horribly. Take some time to heal and let him go. There is no excuse for him cheating and lying esp. that many times.. how hurtful and disrespectful of him. He should be thankful you even given him another chance much less him doing it over again. Focus on you and your baby right now. Life is too short to allow yourself to be hurt over and over by someone who refuses to man up. Put your foot down and mean it...Good luck hope all goes well...

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    • P.s. tell him this: " LOVE IS EARNED NOT YEARNED" Tell him he has to earn your love not just want it............EARN IT EVERY SINGLE DAY

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What Girls Said 3

  • wow. he is a ma, and men like control. as long as he knows he can control you, he is going t okeep doing this to you. the best thing to do is to stop talking to him. he is the one with the problems not you. plus think about your son. do you want him to grow up with his dad confusing him. you trying to explain it and him being mad at one or both of you? he doesn't seem to care about yalls son if he is pulling this crap. and if he ever brings yalls son into it, definitely pull away because he is doing it to make you feel bad. if he can manipulate you in any way, shape or form, he is going to do it. he'll try to get away with whatever you'll let him. stand up for yourself. women fought long and hard t obe able to live independent lives, to not be controlled by a man,or have to be married to a man, or living with a man to survive.

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  • i don't think its going to work because you can't trust him. you shouldnt want to get back into a relationship with someone you feel the need to check his phone or Facebook. definitely don't have sex with him or move back in, then you won't have to worry about feeling used. don't even consider these things unless or until you longer feel the need to check up on him.

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  • stop going to counseling and wasting your money. he doesn't care about you, and you make it very easy for him not to.are you doing it for your son? really? do you want him to treat your son like that? grow a pair of balls, grow up and move on. the way you describe how your acting is pretty pathetic.don't you think you can't find someone else? desperation stinks. you should care less what girl he's interested in or how he spends his time, or who he talks to on Facebook. why are you so clingy? get a grip, you're better than that. you have to believe in yourself or no one else will, and this situation proves it.

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