I've been seeing a counselor for 2 years and thought it was just because of depression and anxiety. My behavior started to change for the worst. I felt out of control and not able to control my feelings or reactions. I had a terrible episode where I acted out and was enraged. I then did some research and my doctor. I do in fact have BPD and I'm scared. I don't want to hurt other people and I don't want to ruin every relationship. My ex and I had a great relationship starting out but I slowly got jealous and made crazy demands. The fights became too much and he broke up with me. We took some time apart and then reconnected by taking things slow... very slow. He wasn't putting the effort in as he was before probably because our past relationship became unhealthy. I spiralled out of control. He is not aware of me having BPD as I went to the doctor after this episode. He is very precious to me as is our relationship. We aren't speaking at the present moment as I'm sure he needs some space. I think I ruined it and not intentionally. I'm not going to deny the fact that I have BPD-I will do something about it and get to my best self which will take sometime. He said school is his main focus right now and he can't chance going through what we had in the past again-this was a couple weeks ago. I'm scared to tell him. I'm scared it won't make a difference. I'm scared he'll think I'm crazy. I don't want this! I don't want to have this.
Most Helpful Guy
Now, first thing to do, is to do what you don't want to do; tell him.
He must know the 'why' you are behaving this way.
Let me explain it this way: If a thieve comes and robs from this old lady, you would think the thieve is the cruelest man alive. But if i told you, that the thief's family haven't eaten in 2 days, you would understand why he's stealing.
I personally suggest you to tell him the truth, does not guarantee him to come back to you. But at least he'll know that what you're doing is not intentional, and that you're receiving help for the issue.1