I just found out I have borderline personality disorder. It's ruined things with the love of my life! Please help me?

I've been seeing a counselor for 2 years and thought it was just because of depression and anxiety. My behavior started to change for the worst. I felt out of control and not able to control my feelings or reactions. I had a terrible episode where I acted out and was enraged. I then did some research and my doctor. I do in fact have BPD and I'm scared. I don't want to hurt other people and I don't want to ruin every relationship. My ex and I had a great relationship starting out but I slowly got jealous and made crazy demands. The fights became too much and he broke up with me. We took some time apart and then reconnected by taking things slow... very slow. He wasn't putting the effort in as he was before probably because our past relationship became unhealthy. I spiralled out of control. He is not aware of me having BPD as I went to the doctor after this episode. He is very precious to me as is our relationship. We aren't speaking at the present moment as I'm sure he needs some space. I think I ruined it and not intentionally. I'm not going to deny the fact that I have BPD-I will do something about it and get to my best self which will take sometime. He said school is his main focus right now and he can't chance going through what we had in the past again-this was a couple weeks ago. I'm scared to tell him. I'm scared it won't make a difference. I'm scared he'll think I'm crazy. I don't want this! I don't want to have this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Now, first thing to do, is to do what you don't want to do; tell him.
    He must know the 'why' you are behaving this way.
    Let me explain it this way: If a thieve comes and robs from this old lady, you would think the thieve is the cruelest man alive. But if i told you, that the thief's family haven't eaten in 2 days, you would understand why he's stealing.
    I personally suggest you to tell him the truth, does not guarantee him to come back to you. But at least he'll know that what you're doing is not intentional, and that you're receiving help for the issue.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Mental illness is a bitch and still surrounded by a lot of myth and misunderstanding by people that don't have it. I have one too and am totally disabled by it and no longer work. I'm not ashamed of my illness in any way and talk about freely and openly with anyone that asks. I didn't do anything to cause it. I was feeling sorry for myself several years ago and asked my psychiatrist why I had to have this. She asked if I'd rather have diabetes. I thought about it and decided no. Here's the thing with mental illness. We're no different than anyone else with a physical illness. Like them we're under a Dr's care, like them we take meds and, like them we try to live with it on a day to day basis the best we can

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    • Thank you for responding and for your openness. I'm scared. Really scared. Everything I've read is not good and says you should stay away from someone with BPD. I want to be in a healthy relationship and treat people nice, not hurt them. I don't blame him for not talking to me or breaking up with me. It hurts. It's hurt everyday. I know he deserves to know but I can't contact him right now. I'm so ashamed of what I did.

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    • I'm not using it as a crux. I do know it was a big factor towards the demise of our relationship.

    • Like I said its a bitch

  • Take time for yourself. Things will work out for the best. On a side note, at least you HAVE a personality!

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    • HA! Thank you. It's nice to have a little humor!

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