Are we friends with benefits or Hooking up? Can friends with benefits ever become more?

The new guy has been there a month. When he first got there we kept exchanging glances and my coworker told him I was single. So he gave me his number. We talked for a while. One night he invited me over his house and we hooked up. The next day we texted all day and he invited me over again. I declined cause i had too much work to do.

4 days later were hooking up again. We both work nights and we have different off days. When we get off work (which is sometimes 12am) we just hangout. The next day he asked me “Why didn’t you ask me to come over last night?” I said “I was busy” The next day he invited me over and I didn’t give him an answer. He said “You gotta think about it?” he said “You got a date? It is Saturday night?” I said no I didn’t say I was not coming” Then a few days later at work he came over and said "I miss you"

Its 5:30 am im getting ready to leave. He said "Oh no, you got your clothes on you punk. Just sleep a litle longer. Its crazy people on the rode" After trying to get me to stay and holding on to me I finally got dressed. He said "Alright baby drive save" he kissed my hand.

I think I have a friends with benefits with my coworker. My coworker who Im hooking up with makes it VERY clear that there’s nothing going on saying "Its not like your my girlfriend or I have feelings for you. Just if you ever need help let me know” Or he would say “I’m offering to help you not because were in a relationship but because were friends and I like what I see in you” OR” If you sleep around use a rubber or if you have sex with another guy let me know” OR "Im not your boy, nothings going on" I never told him I wanted to be with him. I don’t think I will.

I hate it cause I want to be with him. His actions and his words dont match. I spent the whole day at his house once. He cooked me breakfast, bought me diner, we hung out with his friends, we even went shopping. We got on the subject of coworkers I dated. He said “Who you like more me or John” I didn’t say he said “I got my answer” I said NOOO he said “You just waiting for him to come back”


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean, it can and often does happen that friends with benefits turn into relationships. It's easy and natural to catch feelings and build intimacy with someone you're having sex with. If you really want more, you ought to tell him how you feel. I'm inclined to think that he may want more too (eventually) because he has to remind you so often of the definition of the relationship. When people do this, it's often for their own benefit and not someone else's.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's sounds like the beginnings of a relationship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • has he introduced you to any friends or family? done anything to make t seem like its a relationship? sounds like a hookup, but could be something more if you guys talk about it.

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  • Sounds to me like he's sweet on you. Can you get me a job there?

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