Have you guys ever learned/realized a lot after a breakup?

I'm not sure how you guys are after a breakup, but for me I realized that I feel so lost.. like my ex and I broke up the 7th and it's weird. because that friday/early Saturday morning we were like on our best of the relationship.. and then everything changed... it's like so much stuff feels lost to me. i realized how i barely talk to anyone anymore.. like i have friends. but it's not like we talk 24/7... but when you're in a relationship.. it's a habit of talking a lot... i feel like i learned a lesson.. next relationship... I have to make sure I have my own stuff going.. so i don't rely on the person too much


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I learned that no one can/should make you happy. You gotta find happiness within yourself, doing your own stuff. This is hard if your life sucks, if you have a lot of side problems (like I did) so my happiness kind of depended on my ex the most. He was one of the few things that was making me happy. He wasn't like that, he had decent life and a lot of things beside me to enjoy with. So I guess it was too much for him to take care of me. When he left I was so fucked up, but I realized I that this kind of had to happen in order for me to find happiness just by myself. And I did. And now he wants me back, lol.

    I also learned that words mean nothing. Little things mean nothing. Sex and physical affection means nothing. What really matters is actions. How far is other person willing to jump out of their comfort zone and risk, just to stay with you. Big things matter. You see how much someone loves you when big decisions need to be made. For example my brother and his girlfriend, they were together for 4 years until my brother had to move to another country for his Phd. She had an amazing life here, and a kickass career in being a CEO in a most successful company here. For her to go with him would mean leaving EVERYTHING she worked for for years and starting from scratch, with a risk of not finding a job and living as a housewife. Well, she left everything. :) It was very hard for her to find a job when they moved there, they lived in a small student room for a year, barely surviving because my brothers scholarship wasn't enough for both of them. Then she somehow found a great job in another company there, and got to a really high position. Now they are both rich motherfuckers who love each other endlessly!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've realized for what kind of guys i should go with now.
    My ex was really a close-type. who didn't communicate about his feelings, he keeps his feelings towards himself and then blow it all out.
    I'm more the type of: straight-to-the-point.
    so i've learned i need someone who can communicate with me.

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  • Agreed, the hardest thing I've learned in just my most recent failure, that to the person I loved and looked up to and fought to be a part of his life, did not value me, gave me the credit I gave him. I realized that not everyone you love are going to love you back. How do u heal from that?

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    • It's really hard... the sad thing is.. I think I did it to myself.. I ended up being too clingy/needy/dependent.. and I think my ex just got sick of it after awhile.

    • Well, ultimately I'm learning the art of acceptance.

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