Why do people tell those on here who talk about their ex to move on?

I know it's very important to move on and not stay stuck on someone forever.. but why do so many on here say "they dumped you for a reason, move on" I honestly see people get back with their ex's every day... Basically almost everyone I know.. have gotten back with AT LEAST one ex... and sometimes multiple ex's.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree. We all need to understand that sometimes people make decisions and act in ways due to factors outside themselves that may or may not be controllable. People's past experiences can skew the way they interpret things, especially in cases where people become overly-sensitive and hyper-vigilant to perceived interpersonal threat. For example, pretend you're a guy who's been cheated on twice. Naturally you're going to be super cautious when it comes to future relationships. Your new girl, to your suspicion, talks a lot about her friend who is a guy. She really seems into him. One day she tells you she's going to hang out with him, and you're immediately suspicious. So you text her the entire time they're hanging out, when suddenly, she stops responding to you. Cue racing thoughts. You work yourself up to the point that you're absolutely convinced she's cheating. And from your experience these kinds of breakups are draining, so you don't even tell her the real reason why you're leaving her. You lie and say that you were only interested in sex and she's devastated. But who cares, you don't want to date a cheater.
    Some time later, you find out that her guy friend that you were so threatened by? He's gay, and she simply assumed that you knew that. She stopped responding to your texts that day because her phone died.
    But now, because of what you told her, she thinks that you used her for sex. She likely wants absolutely nothing to do with you as she thinks you're heartless and cruel, when really, you've just been hurt too many times and want to prevent it from happening again.

    What I'm trying to say is that misunderstandings are frequent and have a tendency to just build up, usually because they aren't addressed early on. I think tons of break ups are because of misunderstandings but the mutual hurt usually prevents reconciliation. The cure for both preventing a needless breakup and making up with an ex: honest, respectful, open communication.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah getting back with your ex doesn't always work out cause some people make the same mistakes.

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    • Agreed.. But I've seen/heard stories how sometimes it works out even better.

    • It only works out if the couple talk out their problems and try to fix the relationship instead of pretending like its all good.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You're right, a good option could be to work it out with the ex depending on the situation. I think on here, things are often oversimplified because it's hard to say much to a stranger with regards to a relationship they know little about. The story posted may just emphasize a glaring negative about the ex, so advice is based on that.

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    • That's true as well... I think it's important not to get hopes up... but it CAN happen.

  • It depends on themselves, not other people's thoughts.

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What Guys Said 0

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