My ex who broke up with me wants to stop the break after 5 days.

My girlfriend broke up with, it been 6 days so far. She broke up with me because she needed space and unsure about the relationship. She wanted to know if there is anyone better than me basically. So far the third day of the break up she called me saying she misses me and started to have feelings about me again. I told her I agree with her decision about breaking up and having space. 5th day she calls me and says she misses me and wants to squash the break up and come back to me. She sounded unsure about it at the same time.So in my mind I was unsure about this cause it is too early. So I told her to take some time to think about this and enjoy life. I have a feeling she is giving up her space and figuring out that it is hard to get a date. I would like to know your advice about this. I am not calling her at all, only she is at the moment cause she misses me. I try my hardest to avoid contact so she could think about it. Did I do the right thing? Is it better to let her have more time to think about it? When is it safe to have her back with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • yes. don't be a doormat and contact her. she's the one who asked for the break.

    if a guy asks for a break from me and we were in an intense relationship, I would be p*ssed off and mad. so...I'd take the time to do things I like, keep busy and see what she choses to do.

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    • Thats exactly what I had in mind so thank you for a positive response. Hopefully things workout ok cause I miss her so much :( .

    • Thank you for best answer. yes, just go with the flow

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What Girls Said 12

  • So I'm going to tell you something about girls, coming from personal experience.

    Girls tend to make irrational decisions. When things start to get serious, we sometimes

    back off. We tend to THINK a lot and our curiousity level is unbelievable.

    Girls tend to break up with their boyfriends in search of someone new, we love that high energy you get when you go out and meet new people.

    However, majority of the time we do things like breaking up with our boyfriends

    without really thinking about it first, we just do it.

    Then after really sitting down and thinking about what we did, we realize that it was a mistake.

    I've done this before and I regretted it terribly.

    So your girlfriend wants you back. She's just unsure. Your right for giving her time, but you still need to show interest so she doesn't feel like you don't care. SHOW that you still CARE.

    My advice keep talking to her till the awkward breakup syndrom wears off and then give things another shot. I'm sure it will be much better this time around.

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    • Thank you for the advice. She does know I care and I'm still there for her since I told her but I am letting her call me. I will go No Contact so she could miss me and think about me. She will start thinking about me for example after 2 weeks from now she will remember our conversation past week or something so it will make her think about me. And like you said she will realize she is making a mistake. So far I will do half of what you told me too and less of the other half.

  • Years ago I dated a guy who called it off with me about 3 times, so we were in an on-off relationship. He'd dump me saying he was unsure and needed space, go off, pull girls then realise they weren't me and gradually come crawling back. It was before mobile phones and internet so it was easy for me to go no contact on him. Each time I thought I'd lost him for good, but do you know what, we got married! He said being away from me gave him the opportunity to miss me. He said he took a girl on a date during one of our separations, and walked out halfway through as it dawned on him it was me he wanted. I guess sometimes we need to lose something to truly appreciate it, and he said the fact I was still there for him (although I made him chase me and earn me back, making it harder each time lol) made him realise I really loved him too (instead of moving on). Ok, we're not married anymore - I eventually left him, but that is by the by. Had I not walked out we'd still be together and he still contacts me to this day. In fact all the exes who broke with me come crawling back, but usually when I've moved on and it's too late. But hey, you're doing all the right things. Make her earn you whilst giving a little hope - that way she'll think twice about doing it again. Good luck, altho I don't think you need it :)

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    • Very nice story, I'm glad I found people like you on here. Thanks for giving me some confidence...

  • I did that once. Well, not exactly. We were in a long-distance relationship and I hadn't seen him in a long while (we'd gone from everyday to once every 2-3 weeks, sometimes more). Furthermore, it was a relationships my parents were not supportive of - they did not like his nationality, and this made things much harder on us. It was also my first real relationship and we'd gone off to different universities and I started having feelings of needing space. I wanted to get to know different people, it's true. I kept having doubts since it was my first relationship, and I've always believed when you're young is the time to meet different people, and get a taste of what it is and who it is that can make you happy- the right person for you. When I told him I wanted space, he was obviously upset but tried to take it well and be supportive. I knew I'd hurt him, and since I cared for him, it made me really sad too. By the end of the weekend i.e. the next day, I didn't want him to leave. I realized that most of my feelings had come from the fact that we hadn't seen each other in so long and I'd started to feel disconnected from him. It's funny I wanted space considering we had miles between us. For me that time was a phase that was quickly cured by just a few hours of seeing him again. However, the feelings of doubt and just wanting new people were real. We lasted two years after that time, but eventually the feelings came back towards the end of the relationship. That time they were real and not a phase.

    I wouldn't say that my situation is applicable to yours. The reasons of our breakup were much more complicated, and the breakup itself was mutual. But I don;t think 5 days is really enough time to try dating and be disappointed in it. I think she had the feelings and then almost immediately regretted the decision, not because she thinks dating is too hard, but because severing the emotional connection, even when you think it's what you want, is actually much harder than one realizes. But I also think she doesn't know WHAT she wants in general. And perhaps space is what she needs. Maybe give her a month or so? Tell her, straight up: I know we care about each other, and I know we are good together, but you obviously have these feelings for a reason. I do want to be with you but a break is a good idea. Let's try being apart for a month or so, and see if you still feel you want to get back together once the initial shock of not being together has worn off, and you're used to the idea.

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  • I'd let her know you care about her, but the fact that she's changing her mind so frequently makes it look like she really doesn't know what she wants.

    It takes me about two months to get all the crazy feelings after a breakup to settle down so that I feel the same way about it from day to day. Everyone is different... but a week sounds way too short to really think things through.

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  • She is not only unsure about you, she is unsure about life in general, she wants to break up but doesn't know if she'll find anyone so she needs someone on the side while she explores!

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  • this happened to me. I broke up with my boyfriend not just because I was interested in someone else because that wasn't the main reason. I did break up partially because I did have my eye on someone else but when we broke up I didn't even go after him. I wanted space and that space made me realize I really did wanna be with my boyfriend. and we got back together 5 days later and stayed together for another year

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  • No, if she wants to get back together get back together.

    I was the girl in a similar situation and she probably didn't need 'more space', she just was frustrated with something you were doing and she thought loosing her would make you be a better boy friend to her because you'd miss her. Get back together.

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  • I think the fact that she wanted to "find something better" shows she isn't committed to you. If she keeps making you wait, I think you're better off finding someone who thinks you are "the better" guy.

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  • Don't agree to it, because within those 5 days he can go around sexin every girl he wants because you two are not "together"

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  • Tell her that you doesn't want her again.

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  • Well I don't know if you're gonna agree with me but if she's taking a break to see if there's anyone better and wants you back it means she's not satisfied with you and still wants more, if she couldn't find someone that liked her back she might just settle for the guy that's waiting for her...what I think is that you shouldn't take her back because she's always gonna be looking for someone better than you...its better to let her go now then when you're even more emotionally attached:(...trust me same thing happened to me nd now I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years.lol...sad...lol

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  • Yes, I agree with your decision with avoiding contact. Because most guys would want to jump right back into the relationship as soon as theirs an option. But you have to know when its a good time for her to get back with her. Your feelings count as much as her does. So if you also need time to think that's great to. Everyone needs their time- just think and you and her should have a talk to see what going I each other heads. And that convo should be private and not public. And face to face. Don't hold anything back.

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What Guys Said 6

  • homie, reading things like this is refreshing...guys have turned into real chumps nowadays...

    ur playing this perfectly...needless to say that if a girl tells me she wants space in order to see if there;s something better out there, you better believe that space is going to be permanent...i don't beliebe in being in option...BUT, that's me, and I also don't know the specifics...nevertheless..

    1- continue avoiding contact initiated by you

    2- I like that you recognized her uncertainty thru her voice...alotta guys lie to themselves

    3- I think ur right when you assume that she might be coming back due to her inability to find someone eqaul to, or better than you, which in turn should make you rethink things yourself...on a principal stand point...

    although I see you getting back with her, if you don't make this tough on her, this might turn into a frequent thing...good luck and stay erected...

    link <--my blog

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  • damn son you are playing this proper right now...you agreed with teh decision, you're giving her her space...you are letting her contact you...i wish I did this when I broke up with my ex, you are on the right track to get her back(if that's what you want) you need to live your life now think about why she broke up with you - what went wrong, why she didn't feel the same about you and was unsure...try to find out those answers before you let her back...i know this is a month later but I don't know how things are now...wish I could have seen this earlier and tried to help - hope things worked out the way you wanted...

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  • ok first off don't avoid all contact! give her space... remember absence makes the heart grow fonder! tell her you want her to be sure and she should take a little more time, remind her you care for her and when she calls you going crazy that she knows she wants you then make a decision... it is only safe when your both comfortable with it...

    good luck bro...

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  • yeh deff man uve done the right thing, if you turn around and go running back she'll think she can do that all the time. Id give her a glimmer of hope cos obviously deep down you want her back, but do what your doing, you got it sorted, don't give in easily tho

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    • Thanks man I appreciate it. I will do my best.

  • Well if you feel like being 2nd best to someone who might one day come into your ex girlfriends life go for it!

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  • she probably had her a booty call so she wasn't "cheating" and now she wants to get back together. that or she finally started to appreciate your company when she wasn't getting it anymore.

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