We broke up 7 months ago and up until now we've been on and off with the friendship thing. I try to walk away but he always makes me change my mind and keep hanging out with him. I guess the reason I stayed is because I'm still his "special" girl and his only friend as a matter of fact, he has no friends. But he has a fuck buddy. It's some girl from his class that has sex with him and 3 other guys occasionally, she is practically a slut. My ex says he is happy with it because he doesn't want a relationship at all right now. He basically dumped me so he doesn't need to commit. He said he could have a casual relationship with me too but that he is not sure if I would be okay with it (which of course I'm not). He also said he loves me and that he thinks that sometime in the future he will be ready to commit to me, but not right now. I had enough of this bullshit, I don't feel comfortable, I think he is stupid as fuck and blind. This is not the guy I fell in love with, I don't recognize him being this immature. He is 25 and he is going backwards with his life. He left a good thing (us) for the party life and sluts, but still wants me to be there haha. I tried getting him back, but I realized that that's not gonna happen as long as I am there giving in to him. I want to leave and tell him that I'm not comfortable with being friends and that I want to keep my dignity. He never got a chance to miss me because I was always there for him. Well, no more. I know there are really slim chances that he will want me back, more likely he will find something else to do and forget about me, but that's okay because I'm gonna do the same. If he changes his mind he knows where to find me. I gonna tell him this today with the smile on my face. What do you think?
P. S. We were in a LDR for almost 4 years. I'm moving there next year, with or without him.
Most Helpful Girl
To be honest, it sounds like you are better off without him.
I don't understand people who leave a good thing and think they can just come back to it someday, as if you will still be available. How is he so sure you won't get snapped up by some other guy who has his sense about him?
I personally would prefer to be with a guy who saw my value and wouldn't chance it by throwing me back into the dating pool. I started to feel this way after my ex cheated on me. If a person is willing to lose you, then they must not love you all that much. To me it makes sense.
Sure, we all make mistakes. But then it wouldn't be long before he realized that. But he thinks he can just come back, after leaving you like that? No, I wouldn't put up with that.
Here's what you do. You go out, start hanging out with your friends. Have lots of fun, work on yourself, do things that make you happy. Get a hair cut, get some new clothes, go on lots of dates. See what your options are. Stop talking to this guy and let him go live his party life.
He may notice, he may not. But the good thing is you will be too busy to care about what this chump is doing. It's totally okay if he truly doesn't want to be with you. But by the sounds of it he thinks you don't have other options (which seems really narcissistic of him to think that way!).0