Ex-Girlfriend. Doesn't want to see me, Does want to see me, Not sure how to proceed. What's the deal?

My ex-girlfriend and I were friends for two years before we dated a little over a year. Its been like three weeks since she broke up with me. We worked together, I was her boss, and at some point started arguing a lot at work. Outside of work we generally got along fine, I admit I should have shown more affection and paid more attention to her needs though. I drank a lot too which really bothered her. She went on vacation for a week and told me not to drink, I did, lied about it and she of course found out. Then she slept over the next night, but didn't really want me to touch her or anything. Next day we worked together and got into it again at work. Later she came over and told me she couldn't stay at my house anymore, couldn't trust me, and that she couldn't make me happy. I begged her for like an hour.

At first, she said "maybe we can get back together." Then, I did a lot of dumb stuff that probably made me look weak (quit my job where she worked, blew up her phone, begged, cried etc). She kept insisting we be friends. After like 3 weeks she called me twice one night at 10:30, but I missed the call and called back 20 minutes later. She didn't answer. I texted her the next day and asked her why she called and she said she was feeling depressed and had no one to talk to so she drive to my house and called, but I never answered. She said she went home and fell asleep, but she posted a picture on Facebook at like 11:30. I made a few jokes and she said they made her laugh. Now, a few days later it's like I don't exist again.

I really want to text her again (make a joke, avoid coming on to her scenario), but I'm not sure if it's better for me to just not contact her for a week and see if she tries me again or what? I want her to keep thinking of me though. I feel like I missed a good chance. Not sure what to do.


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  • My advice is to leave her alone for a while and see if she contacts you. I know you want her to keep thinking about you but if you keep contacting her it may annoy her and possibly push her away further. If she still has feelings for you she will start to miss you when you stop contact and she will contact you, but if she doesn't then she probably just wants to move on.


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