Guys, If you said this what would it MEAN?

I was with my ex for 4 years, broke things off and he texts me niceties often... Last couple months he has been expressing some emotional stuff he's going through so recently I asked how he was and he said "I'm still going through a lot of personal anguish." I said I was going through stuff too and lots of changes and he said "sorry :( Life is full of changes. I liked being there to take care of you during hard times but unfortunately everything changes... and super fast."
Do you think his "personal anguish" has to do with me? Why do you think he would keep telling me he's going through personal stuff but no details?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • U don't spend 4 years with someone and let go easily. I'm sure that everyday there are thousands of small reminders of you. He def still feels for you. No doubt about that. If he's anything like me, u are a source of strength and weakness for him, which puts him in turmoil. If you have moved on the best thing to do is to distance yourself from him. He has to start learning to stand on his own. It's a terrible and hard thing to do. But necessary

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    • Thanks @Flashover you are right... We always hung out at his place so must be torture to be in his room etc... I havn't moved on though I'm not even interested in dating and I'm pretty sure he hasn't been dating either. So you think this is what he meant by his personal anguish?

    • Good answer here. I feel the same. Time for both to move on. The relationship will never fully end and you both will never fully separate and be able to cleanly enter a new relationship because you each keep leaning on each other time to time.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Most likely. Are you the one who broke it off? If thats the case it would be probable that this is his personal issue. He may mention it to see how you would react to it without wanting to get to involved (respecting your descision if it was yours/not wanting to beg you to take him back etc).

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    • @hellionthesage, thanks for the reply :) Yes, I broke up with him about 8 months ago. You think he is caught between asking me for another chance and waiting for me to make the overture?

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    • Oh yes, well it's been at least 8 months since I've seen him...

    • Well it might be time to sto talking to him. If it is about the break up talking to you will only keep the wound fresh preventing him from moving on. Obviously I don't mean it has to be indefinitley but at least for a time.

  • He wants you back. I don't bother with exes personally and I don't know why people do unless they can't let go of them.

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    • Thanks for the reply :) You think thats why he keeps telling me his personal anguish?

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    • I know, I have tried to meet up with him but always an excuse "not feeling well" except once he invited me to his place for dinner but I was already out with friends. Sooo I dunoo

    • I think you need to make a meet up happen then it's done and you can each talk, he's not in the position to pursue you over it so unless you do it nothing gets done. People being sketchy over stuff is why I break clean and write them off.

  • He doesn't give details because he wants you to dig for it, to pry, to invest your time and energy in him, and thus re-establishing that connection with you... that's what it seems like to me. I'm not saying it's a deliberate and conscious thing...

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    • Hey Shaft :) you think this is why he is in anguish?

    • Hi Lioness... no, I think he's making life a bit more complicated for himself than it needs to be... either that or he has depression

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