Should I stay friends with my ex?

so we were in a relationship for almost 2 years, there were some problems like in any other relationship and right now we are going for different things, different goals in different places, so we would be in a long distance relationship. she hurt me because of her bipolar attitude and it was tough, something got her mad and she decided to break up with me, because she realized it wouldn't work as she wanted to, at some point it made me feel better because we wouldn't be able to see each other for years or even months, who knows and that would've been tough and would get us frustrated or at least me. she ended up on good terms, and she told me she still loves me and im a very special person for her, but its for the best... i said i agreed and i felt relieved because all of the tension the relationship was bringing on me, but at the same time i was kinda sad that it had to come to and end. she then told me we could be friends and talk or whatever, she asked me if i hated her, i said no even tho she was a bitch, but i kind of agreed to being friends with her, but right now im not so sure lol... like we would hit each other up from time to time but i know it would be really awkward, plus i really want to move on from it, even tho im not even sad right now, im just glad it happened that way. but should i stay friends with her? why? whats the real intention here? is it healthy? what should we talk about? i got no idea, im used to consider an ex as an enemy


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because two people Breakup doesn't mean they can't and don't Makeup and that it's Goodbye, my love forever. And with you rown "EX" who still Marks an X in her own softie spot here, dear, there may be motive in mind down this fine line , where she is asking For... Hit each other up from time to time.
    You both had a 'Relationship for almost 2 years' and in This, you found out things were not always so cozy and koshore. Now that it is over, it is dealing with more raw deals on wheels, such as LDR, her 'bipolar attitude, and Other things on the love list that brings you both to 'Different' levels in time.
    I believe that if you kept in contact, she probably wouldn't change, be harping and hopping on your heart strings More in store, and maybe drive you alone to drink because of the distance.
    Tell her you think it best for Now to move on and both of you get settled in to the idea of Not being in any sort of relationship, and when you are back on track, you will send her a text, from time to time.
    If she has a hissy fit, don't give in, being an enabler. That part of your life is Over like Rover, and Now... You are not in the doghouse with her anymore. It's not that an "EX" is this enemy, but she did go barking up the wrong tree.
    Good luck. xx

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    • thank you.
      I already did, but i emphasized it on me, i told her that i thought it wasn't the right thing for me and i needed space to detox from all the mess, and i told her that i felt kinda sad and weird for the breakup but at the same time i felt like free somehow, she understood. she didn't like the idea of not talking to me right after the breakup like she wanted to (judging by her reaction via phone, cuz she got quiet) but she just said its okay that she respects that, and whenever i feel like it i can talk to her or whatever, to keep in touch.

      I kind of think she didn't really care about the breakup at all, she just used some excuse that at the end of the day was good for both of us because i may love her like hell but i didn't want a LDR with her.
      Time will heal my heart, i now gotta focus on myself.

    • Yes, you sure do, and Begin anew Beguine. xxoo

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's nothing different about this ex, no you shouldn't remain friends, why people can't be cordial?
    YOu see her out and about, you say hello, how are you? and keep it moving.
    Why you feel obligated to remain friends? it's weird people have think this way, I considered my end friebds without asking and if we ended badly, time heals all right? I ran into each where it ended not so great saw one another and was cordial.
    Most people say let's be friends , I think just to make the process less uncomfortable, it's like saying "hello, how are you" . It's pleasantries goes hand and hand
    Why bother did you feel obligated to put efforts in to making the relationship work?

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    • the past few months i felt i was giving more than i was receiving in the relationship and it hurt me a lot, she's not very mature emotionally.

      I love her, but i deserve better to be honest. I wouldn't have given up like that tho, she just realized it wouldn't work in LD, and deep down i was thinking the same thing, the relationship got weak and with the long distance wouldn't last for long, but i would've tried, but well, was her decision in the end and I wasn't down for the begging, i just took it and said that i agreed.

      I told her i dont want to talk to her for a while, i need space cuz i was the one being hurt, she didn't seem like she liked it, but she said she respected my decision and that if i wanted to talk to her when i felt like it that it was okay, somehow i think she didn't care about breaking up.

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    • the breakup is recent so of course im not over it, i wish we could be together, she told me that if we were closed to each other she wouldn't have broken up with me, but we are far away now and she said she realized it woudlnt work out... sometimes im sad, sometimes im okay because i accept it, but yeah, i miss her and hurts me... i talked to her earlier because came to realize the navy might be a good thing for me too and i wanted to see if her fam was able to guide me and help me when i decide if i want to truly join.
      but to be honest she's not even sad about the breakup, I don't know... I guess i was the one that loved her more even tho she used to tell me she loved me more than anything, people lie so much

    • I don't know, who's to say she lied, maybe she just accepting you guys aren't working, so she's trying to get over you

  • Just move on, if not the tension might come to a rise again whether it long term or not, you or her might get hurt.

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