After a few rows my ex walked out on us, I found out I was having his baby, he didn't want to know, told me it was a lie and despite begging him for proof he just wasn't interested and still said it was a lie. He's never spoken to either of us since. He had a new girlfriend after 6 weeks and is alteady involved with her son, posting pictures of them having family days out alrrady. I ended up having a temrination.
I can't get to grips with how I feel about him, it's been 3 months since he left now, part of me misses him terribly and my heart aches but another part of me can't remember the sound of his voice or what it was even like to have him here, some days I don't feel sad and others like tonight I cry, since he left on a few occasions iv had to force myself to cry like iv wanted to but couldn't. I can look at pictures of me, him and my son and don't instantly burst into tears, I have also caught site of the picture of his new girlfriend, him and her son and I didn't break down.
Weekends seem so lonely as my son goes to his nannas and I'm by myself i miss him so much at these times we would of spent together, but part of me feels ok and free..
My head is a mess and I can't figure out what I feel.. can anyone help?