When do you know it's time to end a relationship?

I'm 24 and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. In the beginning everything was amazing/awesome/great. We had so much chemistry and we treated each other like gold. Fast forward out of the honeymoon phase and now.. the real him is showing through. He isn't the sweet romantic guy I knew in the beginning. He makes comments about other women ( not often and not enough to make me go "ah ha!! you are an ass time to go") he told me he doesn't love me but that he likes me a lot.. but his actions don't follow through. He never shows affection and when he does it's right before sex. I'd say the past month things have been dying down. The excitment I mean. When did you know it was time to move on from a relationship?

Updates:
We broke up tonight. It's for the best.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know it's time to break up when you know you don't want the rest of your life to be like it is with that person. Somewhere between the 3-6 month mark is where a person starts be "themselves" around. They feel comfortable enough around you that they aren't putting in extra effort to make a good impression on you anymore.

    That's not a good or bad thing by itself, it's just human nature, but just realize that's how the person is going to be for the rest of your relationship. It extremely unlikely they will change. They may change temporarily if you break up with them or something else big in your lives happen, but very rarely do people decide to change who they are.

    You've been together 6 months, so I'd say it's pretty safe to say that what you're getting from him now is what you will continue to get from him as long as you're together. So if you're not happy with that, time to move on and find someone who you really enjoy being with.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you said it yourself~ he doesn't love you, and you aren't happy with the "real him"; therefore, i'd say that you've got your work cut out for you.

    i sensed the end of my last relationship~ the guy was a good friend of mine, and the only reason i agreed to date him was because he was safe (i had been sexually assaulted by an ex) and i trusted him.

    it went well for about a year. but, after a few months, things dropped off and our visits became less frequent. we were both too broken (me, from my assault, and him carrying a torch for an ex) and i realized that it wasn't working/we would never be more than just good friends. so, after some therapy, i found the courage to end it and move on. i was no longer a prisoner, and we were both young enough that we could still find happiness elsewhere.

    i am now with a wonderful man who treats me like a queen and looks at me like he's won the lottery... you deserve the same, and this guy obviously isn't him.

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    • I'm so happy you found the right man! thank you for sharing your story.

      We broke up tonight and while I will miss him it's for the best. I'm okay with it and happy :)

    • you're welcome :)

      we all have to do things we don't want to, though i agree that it is ultimately for the best. props to you for being so brave, and i wish you lots of love and happiness in the future.

      -v.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • ""he told me he doesn't love me but that he likes me a lot""

    That's when you know that unfortunately this is doomed to failure.

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    • I believe he has commitment issues

  • When they haven't made an effort, and you'd rather end it than work on it

    He might be in the same place, seeing problems and not knowing how to talk about them

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    • What does he do that's disrespectful?

    • He says he would sleep with multiple women if society didn't frown on it

      Once or twice made a comment on another woman's attractiveness.

    • I think those were definitely faux pas's on his part. He may believe these things, but you should really convey to him that you want a closed relationship and you don't like him expressing his attraction to other women to you. It's perfectly natural, but it's perfectly natural for you to not want to hear about it as well.

  • Do you feel happy when he's around u?

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    • yes I do most times. He always makes me laugh but we only see each other once a week due to work schedules.

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    • im not sure honestly. He is everything i want in a man but he doesn't love me and he says disrespectful things sometimes. I just don't know ):

    • STOP put the only keys to your growth and happiness in his pocket coz simply you can’t live your entire life through his fantasies

      I know you'er afraid to be lonely. but the only person you live with all your life is yourself. So, if you're in an internal struggle with yourself you 'll never live comfortably

      Take the next step >>>> EXIT
      Good luck...

  • Sounds like y'all need to do a better job of communicating. Have you expressed any of this to him?

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  • i don't think this is a relationship at all.

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  • when you have done your best to keep strong and other not trying to help build relationship.

    giving up and move on is best. don't waste life on the lifeless.

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  • Yup he definitely wants to move on, so it is your call whether you want to stick to him or break up with him (which is what your self-respect will tell you to do).

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    • You think he does? I wondered that too. If that's the case I would rather him be honest.

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    • sorry to hear about that, but I think it was best for you...

    • yes it's what is best. I'm hurting but I saw it coming.

  • You'll know.

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  • when you dont want to be around him at all hun

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  • Yep, time to break it off. If you let it drag on you can only blame yourself.

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  • When I get bored of her and/or find out how imperfect she is.

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  • U know if he just like u must be break up to him ni need looking for true love

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  • and my momma told me when i was little: "be an asshole todd, women dig that big time, you'll treat her like crap but they'll be coming back for more..." i should have listened to her, damn... .

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  • So, neither of you have realistic expectations about relationships. Got it.

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What Girls Said 16

  • This is that time. Any guy who tells you 6 months in, "I don't love you but I like you a lot," and has stopped with the romance except prior to sex, is one you need to throw back in the pond. It's way too soon for that to be happening. You're in for long enough to really see how he'll be in the long term (this is as good as it gets, by the way). But not for so long that you're stuck in attachment and feelings like you can't break it off.

    This is a great time to cut ties and look again.

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  • Personally, I would take it as it's time to move forward. He obviously doesn't seem to be taking the relationship seriously. If you want something serious then definitely move on from him. There are so many good guys out there and if the excitement is already dying down after only six months then he's not right for you.

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  • You move on from a relationship when it isn't making you happy anymore. You move on from a relationship when the work required to stay together feels more arduous than being apart. Sounds to me like you're at that point.

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  • When you don't feel the same as you used to around him.
    You guys drift apart or argue constantly, hardly talk, no communication in the relationship, hardly see each other. It's normal to have ups and downs in relationships but if they get extreme to the point where there are permanent downs then it's time to break up and accept fate.

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  • I hate that the guy conveniently waits until after you put out to tell you "I don't love you but I like you enough to fuck."

    It's a definite sign that it's over when he starts making excuses not to see you or if you're always the one trying to set up a date.

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  • Now is the time. Tell him why you're breaking up and move on.
    Or just discuss that matter with him and maybe he'll change. He probably just feels at ease and doesn't feel like he has to earn anything.

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  • When you stop looking forward to seeing him it might be time to at least slow down and give yourselves space.

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  • If you're thinking about ending your relationship then its probably time. Do u love him... Just saying, love isn't always enough if you're not happy...

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    • I do love him but I'm not happy anymore.

    • Then honey I think its time. When u next see him, look at him and ask yourself, 'can I see myself spending the rest of my life with him?' If you hesitate then the answer is that its most likely time. Sorry

  • There is a book on how to be an adult in a relationship. I found it to be really helpful because it reminded me that the honeymoon stage is not a permanent one. According to that book's author, the second stage is conflict, and if you can resolve the conflict in a healthy manner then it leads to commitment.

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  • All now sounds like its time to go.. You had me at "He says likes me but he doesn't love me "

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  • Ironically, this myTake is featured too. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22390-when-is-it-time-to-break-up

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  • U know its time when u start thinking about ending the relationship if your not happy you need to make a change life's to short to regret things do what's best for u

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  • When you are the only one trying to make things work
    When the other person does not care
    When you are in love by yourself

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  • Relationships always " die down'. The excitment and buzz you feel at the beginning becomes more like a contentment feeling after a while.

    Relationships are measured by the bad times not the good. It takes effort from both people to make it last , as well as making it a happy relationship. So when there is nothing left worth fighting for, or only one person is putting all of the effort in... it is then that you know it's time to end the relationship.

    Good relationships succeed when two people communicate and have the ability to reslove issues within the relationship. So it isn't the absence of problems which makes it work.. it's loving each other enough to get through anything together , as a couple.

    Your question probably means something in your relationship is not making you feel totally happy... that doesn't necessarily mean you have to end it.

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  • sounds like its time.

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  • When he doesn't compliment your life in a way that makes it better than being single.
    To be honest, if he isn't in love with you and the honeymoon phase has ended I don't see it lasting long.
    In my opinion, if you stay with him you're settling.
    You can do better

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