Getting the strength to break it off?

We have been going out for almost a year. This guy is unambitious and I'm not. He graduated college, but has no further interest in education nor does he know what he wants to do. He lives for the present not for the future, I live the present too and I am trying to work towards my future. He's a very nice guy, but has no interests outside of work/playing games/eating and sleeping, he is extremely lazy, I tried many times to get him to do something fun, he never wanted to do it or we would go and it would be awkward. When I first had doubts it scared me because I did not want to lose him. I gave excuses for why and the doubts kept cropping up. As soon as I brought up the doubts he freaked out that I would leave him, but did not do anything to grow and learn. Those doubts I could not cool down and I approached him about it, this was the man I wanted to marry and have kids w/, but he would more then likely be the lazy dad (he told me he wanted to grow old w/me and have kids w/me). He tore me down and told me I was being irrational because it was his life. I saw other people my age, even myself involved in fun activities, travelling w/their SO's, enjoying things together, while I am sitting there doing the same thing over and over because my boyfriend has no interests. He is stuck in a childhood game for which he does not have the money to spend on cards (which he does, he can spend more then $20 on one card!) nor the time to invest in the tournaments. Days off, forget it, instead of exploring options, applying to better jobs, working to improve himself, he wakes up, eats, naps and plays games. He gained weight which I never mentioned, but I noticed. I'm not the most fit person, but I try to eat healthy. He is worried about his weight, but I have to practically drag him to the gym w/me (btw it is free with the place he is renting). Why I am so hesitant to break up?


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What Guys Said 1

  • How were you able to go out with him for a year and not go out and do something fun even though he was tied up with school? What on earth did you do for dates?

    Try this... go out and join some activities and tell him what your doing (i. e. rock climbing) and if he can't get his head out of the sand and go with you to enjoy it then dump him.

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    • He isn't in school and is just working. We went on one trip and it was great, but that cannot make up for months of stagnant relationship. We hung out and cuddled for our dates and sometimes to the movies/the bar. I didn't mind relaxing on work days, but he would do the same on days off! Sleep in a little, do something around the house, nap then spend the evening w/me or play games. He is always too tired or uninterested in doing anything.

    • Well, time to suggest new things and do some new things by yourself as I suggested to get him off his butt in case he's concerned about you meeting other people (which he should). If he goes and genuinely enjoys himself or at least makes the effort you've got a fighting chance, otherwise I'd start looking to meet new people.

    • When he does w/me, he tells me had a good time, but he barely interacts w/anyone. He also doesn't show tons of enthusiasm going places where I invite him.

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