Most Helpful Girl
You must come to a recognition that you are stalking a fantasy.
A person that never existed.
The good that he showed you was on "pretense mode".
Anytime you feel the urge to check up on him, snap yourself out of it and understand that you are checking up on a person that never had any respect for you.
You don't deserve that.
You deserve far better.
When you bring those feelings to surface of the negativity that he bought into your life, then not checking up on him will be so much easier.
Of course, this will take time.
As you stand strong, it will get easier.
Good luck <31