dated a man 20 years ago. I cheated on him and we broke up. I was young and stupid. He has been married for 13 years and I heard he was seperated and gave him a call. We kind of hang around the same friends so I have seen him with his wife over the years. They had been seperated for about 6 months. We had sex the first night and he was all into me telling me he loved me and he even went on a vacation for a week with me and my kids. I mean I already had the vacation planned, but after dating for a week I ask if he wanted to go on the faction with us and he said sure! He swore he was never getting back together with his wife. 6 weeks later he calls me, not even does it in person , and tells me he needs to work it out for his kids. Are you kidding me? I have always been in love with this man!! How could he fall asleep in my bed, then be with back with his wife that next night? Did he ever love me? Was it really for his kids or did he still love his wife? And I found out for my birthday he bought me the same bracelet he purchased for his wife, and took me to the same restaraunt he took his wife to each year!! Are you kidding me? I tried to call him a couple of times and text him but he won't respond and took down his Facebook page. Now I have to see them around town, and he totally looks happy and all in love!! What do I do? What exactly was I to him? Did he ever love me? Please help me answer all my questions and be able to move on!
Most Helpful Guy
Hi, clearly you're hurt, but you're also an adult. This guy was and is getting over a breakup. He is not going to be thinking straight for a LOOOONG time. This is so well known that many people will not date people who are going through a breakup for this very reason.
Besides that, you may have pined for this guy for 20 years, but he went on and got married and had kids. Despite what he said in bed., that does not go away overnight.
Is this sad for you? Of course! Should he have been superhuman enough to recognize that he was a little crazy - no? I hope you feel better, but this whole thing was an accident waiting to happen.
Most Helpful Girl
You cheated on him and yet you're wondering what he thought you were to him. You can't blame it on being 20 and young. I'm sure a lot of the 20 year olds on here would tell you they wouldn't cheat. I know when I was 20 I wouldn't have cheated. You can't use age as an excuse for that.
Also, it's been a while since your relationship with him. He was married to her and he has kids with her. He obviously loved her if they were together for 13 years. Yes they separated, but obviously he loved her enough to want to try and work things out with her. I doubt when he got back with you temporarily that he felt any love for you. It was probably just a fling to him. Perhaps even being with you made him realize he wanted her back.
I fully support a man who wants to get back to his wife and kids. It is her he should be with, not you.
Also, you can't have always been in love with him if you cheated on him. You asked: "What exactly was I to him? Did he ever love me?"
You should be asking yourself those questions when you cheated on him. What was he to you? Did you actually ever love him? Doubtful if you could cheat on him. It's time to move on.2