Heartbroken;was he jst tired of our continous arguing? was he keeping it all bottled inside and jst exploded? or did he meet some1 new?

i was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years it was passionate and we loved each other a lot but there was also a lot of fighting about stupid things becaue we thought about things differently.. i would get upset because all these girls seemed to add him on fb but he'd get mad at me if i asked y he added them.. apparently he knew them all very well.. (he had over a thousand friends)..

But he'd also get extremely jealous over fb or even just of guys looking at me on a public place.. i never noticed anyone looking at me.. i was too in love with him but he thought i was looking at them too.. we even had arguments when i started work.. as we met in college he'd ask me if i had met an guys at work or if anyone tried 2 flirt with me.. i guess u could say there were insecurities on both ends and no matter how much we fought we always wanted to be together.. until recently..

we were at a party and a drunk friend of his came to say hi and started saying silly things.. once he left i joked to my boyfriend saying ''hmm so these r the type of guys u go out with'' he lost it and started yelling that he was sick of me not trusting him.. after a bit of arguing i said it wasn't the right place to talk about it with all our friends and even my cousins jst a few steps away.. he got mad and said he'd leave and i told him if he left that would b the end of us.. and from his rage he left me there.. i was in shock.. and burst into tears.. from my rage we exchanged a few txts and i told him not too contact me again.. and then that was it.. he didn't.. the man that always fought to be with me no matter how much we fought.. he jst didn't this time.. he put his ego on top of everything else.. and snapped at something so stupid.. was he jst tired of our continous arguing? was keeping it all bottled inside and jst exploded? or did he meet some1 new? its been 2.5months and i've been trying to keep busy and not think about it.. but some days r worse then others..


Most Helpful Guy

  • Listen up...
    Arguments in any relationship get old, tired, and toxic... And jealousy is a sign of lack of trust, and without trust, there is no relationship.
    It only takes one minute of arguing or fighting to destroy months or years of what has been built in a relationship... this said, it sounds like you both have been acting like a demolition crew to your best interests.

    I don't want to be too hard, because I've been in a toxic relationship like this... But I want you to take this to heart...
    First off... Learn to shut your mouth in a relationship when you feel your "fire" ignight... take a time out, even if it takes you a couple days to cool down... If you learn one value in this, it's not saying anything in the heat of the moment that you may later regret... Don't be quick to react!
    I know as well as you that it takes two to have an argument... Don't be the second party involved, learn yourself, be aware of your limits,... And don't rise above those limits an argument if you see its going to turn into an argument. Once you have calm down, you may decide to discuss the matter... But do it calmly... And before you decide to discuss the matter, ask yourself... "Is this relevant?"... Choose your battles wisely!
    I understand that you may miss him... But at this point you both are in the deal, it really doesn't matter if he seeing somebody else, you both are finished... and even if you both were to pick back up, the human mind is as such that this is the type of relationship that you both have built with each other... A toxic destructive relationship.
    My advice is... As you enter into your "next relationship"... Consider the red flags, habitual arguing, fighting, jealousy... None of that's healthy in a relationship. It always takes two.

    • first of all thank u for taking the time to express ur opinion. jealousy wasn't always in the relationship wellnot from my side.. in the beginning our relationship i didn't show not even a slight piece of it =, it jst wasn't in my character but as he started to ask me questions and be paranoid with quite a lot of things i guess i sort of thought well if he thinks like that y shouldn't i as well.. i started thinking like him and i guess over time things got worse.. i just can't imagine being with anybody else.. i dont want to be.. we had future plans.. but i guess its time to give up and move on..

    • I wasn't trying to be rude, I want you to know that... you can't help but feel what you feel and that's okay... But from a third party perspective, and somebody who has been there... I can see red flags all over with what you're saying between you and your ex boyfriend... it doesn't matter who's at fault, a relationship where there is arguing and fighting all the time will eventually fall apart as soon as one or the other or both decide enough is enough.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you seen his actions changing usually? What I learn from experience is that breakups are never "out of the blue".

    • thank u for ur reply. what i do remember changing was tht if i'd say something tht hurt me sometimes he wouldn't fight back he'd jst hold it in i could tell by his facial expression. but he was so difficult to understand it was like there were different rules for him and others for me. he could go out until 4am and later and if i said something about it i was 'over-reacting' but for me he'd ask what i was doing all tht time... i often felt like he was unfair with me..

    • I know this is sad, but try to forget him. If you don't beg or coerce him back to the relationship he MAY come back. But usually they do when you have no more feelings for them.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i don't know specifically but the constant arguing, bickering, jealousy (on both parties) could be the reason to break up... a relationship can survive arguments and even sometimes an argument can even further ignite passion but at some point arguments are just a drain AND can ultimately lead to one or both people's feelings towards the other change

    frankly it sounds like this relationship kind of needed a break. it sounds like you both are the jealous types and at some point that becomes very unhealthy

  • Sounds like a really dumb situation. I'd say give it a break for a while


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