He left me after I thought it meant to be forever. How can I get him back and get through this?

I lived abroad with my family and 4 years ago i went back alone to my home country to accomplish my study i was 18. I met my dad's friend he older than me by 21 years we loved each other a lot but sometimes he came and say we can't be together it's difficult to marry because your family. he had a marriage that time so i was depressed and cry most of the times because I didn't know how was my life going to. I met a guy he asked me to go a wedding with him we danced and after that he tried to touch my body I was so tired that I wasn't totally conscious but no thing happened. after that I was very angry of my self I called him and told him I can't talk or meet him anymore. i didn't tell the man I loved that because I was afraid he would leave me. we have been together now for 4 years. all of these period we had a lot of trust issues , I did every thing to make him feel safe because he really was my everything. it supposed to marry after one year.3 weeks ago he asked me if there's anything in my life that I didn't tell him. he wanted to know every thing in details and he told he won't judge and no thing will matter. I told him about that night that happened to 3 years ago. I was in pain while talking he showed me he understands that he was very nice ended that call And went to sleep. the next day when i went to see him he spanked me a lot and told me that I'm a bitch and I don't deserve him. Since that time I'm in pain. I can't do anything in my life. all my future plans supposed to be with him. I cry every day. I can't forgive myself. now we talk sometimes as friends every call he remembers what happened that night and get mad at me. I beg him to comeback to me and I will make anything to make that work but he keep telling me I can't do this right now, and to leave it for the time. My life is a hell. how can I go through this alone. I was young and stupid but what can I do to fix this? I had suicidal thoughts. I try very hard to keep my balance but I can't.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry for what happened to you
    I know it's hurt , but the pain won't change anything except ll' make your feels unconcerned toward your life at this time
    you can blame yourself , but that won't change anything, It would make things get worst

    you can spend days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in the darkness, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've or should've happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor behind you and walk outside into the sunlight, with new life, new chances and Self-esteem
    you've earned second chance , but what are you going to do about it?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, don't give up on you. We all make mistakes and you must first forgive yourself. Plus, love yourself more. I know how it feels to love someone that won't take you back. It hurts so bad like a death. But, I'm here to tell you if don't come back life goes on. It gets better. The pain go's away. I promise cause it did for me and many others like you. I say focus on you. Go out have fun. Hang out with family or friends. Your 22, so focus on school and what career you want to do. Rebuild yourself. Love you Some you. Because, if he isn't the the God has for you then know that he is out there waiting for you to move on. So, he can find you. I know it's not easy now but it will get better. Plus if you really want him back. Tell him you will give him space and he has your number if he change his mind. Then, leave it alone and live your life. Know your worth sweetie you are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are the prize and who ever don't see that he isn't for you. Love you, love you and live every day with a smile. God loves you

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What Guys Said 1

  • 1st I have learned never make a man your everything. Don't beg him! Now , Read that 1st sentence over and over again.
    Note your live is valuable and it's so much in front of you to live. You should really take time for your self, I mean cold turkey from him block everything.(it's hard but you have to love yourself before a man can do that)
    You may also want to talk to a counselor about your hard time I had to, I can relate all to well.

    Most importantly it's not your fault and you aren't alone

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What Girls Said 1

  • NO BEGGING! NO ANGER! be cool and stop contacting him! he needs to make the move and contact you if you chase him constantly:
    You get no more responses or you and up in the friend zone.
    So stop! I know its hard because you want to talk to him but, you can't go back the way things were, with such a rush and needy attitude.

    Please look up coach corey wayne on youtube. He help me sooo much and I'm currently on the right track getting my ex back: I had been dumped AND a rebound...

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    • I can't take a decision to stop contacting him because if I didn't call him , he would say you are ok without me now. so I 'm afraid that he would think I don't need him anymore :/

    • Show All
    • Yes That it the best thing you can do/ Take time for yourself.

    • Thank you :)

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