I asked my husband to get rid of the women he's been having an emotional affair with on Facebook. Why did he just deactivate it?

Why does he refuse to delete her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are as much to blame as your hubby is here !! There is something missing in this marriage that he is finding that this other woman is providing , if this marriage means anything to you and you care whether or not it will endure then YOU need to find out what it is and try to fix it. I'm not saying it's all your fault !! I'm sure he has plenty of faults ; some one here has to say what we are doing isn't working so we need to try something else more beneficial to this marriage. I have been guilty of this very thing myself , my wife saw my need and fixed it herself ; and to be honest I love her more for fighting for me rather than fighting with me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think asking him to do anything to cut off ties with the other woman is absolutely pointless.

    What I'm getting from you is that you think that by asking him to get rid of her on Facebook, somehow everything will be solved? I don't think so. Who's to say he can't just create another account (or already has an account) that you're not aware of? Who's to say there aren't other forms of communication and/or social media platforms he can't connect with her? It's pointless to ask him to do that because if he's cheated on you already, he's more likely to do it again... ESPECIALLY if he feels like you're forcing him to do things he may or may not want to do. He may be refusing to delete her or get rid of her simply to spite you because he may feel like this whole situation is suffocating him.

    My question to you is, why do you refuse to leave him? If he refuses to absolutely cut off all ties with this other woman, why are you still holding onto him? Unless he's explicitly told you that he wants nothing more to do with this woman, and has proven to you that his cheating days are over and his 100% dedicated to you and putting every effort into repairing your marriage, and unless he's willing to be completely transparent with everything, then he's not worth the effort.

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What Guys Said 7

  • You are focusing on the wrong thing. The issue is not with him and her. It's between you and him. And deactivating an account says nothing. There are dozens of ways to contact people.

    The worst thing is to tell someone not to do "that" because it makes "that" more interesting. Do understand that in your place I would probably have asked the same thing.

    Maybe your husband feels unwanted or needed. Maybe something is bothering him. Maybe stress at work. Maybe he feels he can't talk to you anymore. Or maybe this is just the way he is. I am not putting the blame on you or him. I'm just stating some possibilities.

    Talk with your husband. Find out what is really going on between you and him. Do something nice together. A vacation somewhere nice for example. That would put the two of you away from where the problems are.

    I wish you luck.

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  • I agree with Jager66's comment.

    The fact that your husband felt the need to pursue an emotional affair underlines the real problem.

    You should talk to your husband about the reasons that this happened, and perhaps you will know when the issue is resolved because he will voluntarily delete this new contact.

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  • what is an emotional affair?

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  • Your problems arn't that your husband is connecting with another woman, it's that your husband feels like he needs to do that to have his needs met, this isn't something that happened over night, it has been years in the making and he no doubt has reached out to you only to be rejected.

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  • i am not saying he is a good guy , but if he is seeking emoitional support from another woman , on facebook... well that kinda says it all , you should act like his wife and be more the emotional support he needs , why did he goo looking somewhere else? because he isn't getting at home probably ( unless he is addicted to it? )

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  • Emotional affair? What does that even mean?

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  • He is hiding something from you. Don't ask me what, I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling he is.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Did he refuse to delete her? Well the bridge is already established with this other girl. He feels comfortable telling her everything and you want to remove that. So of course his refusing to delete her.

    Why your husband isn't being faithful to you, I don't know. Is there a lack of communication? Not enough affection?

    What did you mean in the part where you wrote "why did he just deactivate it?"

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  • Deactivating it is more final than deleting her. Now she cannot contact him at all, and vice versa.

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  • Because you called him out on the "emotional affair" he was most likely having. You got inside his head, made him think some... suspected it was the right thing to do. Consider yourself lucky

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  • He probably just blocked you. ..

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  • Isn't deactivating the same thing?

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