we broke up in march 09 OK we were together nearly three years I stayed with him. things got out of control arguing so I moved home to my mothers. we didn't speak for a while(maybe 2 months) then I asked for him back constantly I done this for about a month and he kept saying no. so I left it until 3 weeks ago just before Christmas he got in contact with me again and we got on brilliant until he brought up the past. that what I done to him and bla bla bla. and we ont talk now but he checks my bebo profile like every week, I am trying to act as if I am not interested when really I want him back what should I do. please help :D xx
Most Helpful Guy
What happened in the past? Explain that and I'll tell you whether or not there is a shot.
Let me go on a story in the mean time, I'll try to keep it brief.
- I was with the same girl that I gave my virginity to for 4 years, she cheated on me once and then several times down the road I thought she had cheated on me (which in my opinion seemed legit reasoning to assume so; based off what she told me about the situation). None-the-less we broke up on and off like any other teenage abusive relationship and I didn't know what I wanted other than someone to throw my arm around.
Part 2: I finally woke up and realised what I had lost after we took a very long break, but I still couldn't get over the past bullsh*t that was inflicting bad thoughts about how I felt about her, but I still was "IN-love" with this girl. She was my world. So I strived towards maintaining only a friendship and talking to her as a friend, where I messed up and flirted with her constantly. We ended up rekindling our feelings and asserting them openly like "I like you, I know there's a bad past, do you like me?"
Part 3: We have been basically FWB- we aren't look for marriage, nor a friendship and neither of us are interested in other people (or so it seems.) I'm very understanding of other people involving themselves within her life and I know what I am willing to compromise on and what I will not tolerate, so I have some basic foundations of where to intervene and point out where she is wrong.
The Catch: Prior to developing part 3- the relationship was EXTREMELY abusive from my side (and visa versa). We basically pushed each other and then pulled in every direction possible. We tested the very strengths and weaknesses of our relationship in ways that other people are not comfortable to do so. The experience was NOT delightful, there were several times where I felt completely lonely and basically drained of motivation to continue pursueing this lady.
Several years have passed and we have remained highschool sweethearts in love. The passion we share is more important than a mere breakup from words and flustered feelings. Not all people will bite down and bear through the same pain, to each their own. All I can say is that I'm glad I did- because I needed the experience. The lifestyle I have chose has helped me form my own personality, which I show through my responses here.
Choose what works for you and fight for it, but make sure that it isn't going to be hopeless- even though we would have some of the worst arguments, she would see me completely happy on certain days; granted, I was severely hurting over the misloyalty.
I know that people will not agree with me, but it really will open your eyes to try things, though I advise people not to follow my footsteps if they aren't willing to learn. I knew all along that this won't be permanent, but I don't want marriage- so that is fine with me.
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