Ex boyfriend Left With No Words, 2.5 Months Later He Sent Email Saying Sorry, What Should I do?

So, I had an argument with my ex boyfriend 3.5 months a go. We've been together for almost 4 years (on-off) - we're both on late twenties. In the middle of the heated argument I just asked him to take me home & since that night we never spoke to each other. Later, he shows off & bragging about his recent holiday & his new car to our friends. I went quiet. As he never tries to reach me whatsoever. During this period, I lost my job and pretty much my life hit the rock bottom. I become a total reclusive & avoid contact with friends. So our friends normally updating his status to me because I unfriend & block him in every social media & my phone too. They keep doing it although I told them not to. Earlier this month he sent email to me saying he's sorry & he didn't meant to do such thing in regards to our relationship & says the decision is up to me. He also said there's nothing he can do about it. Which I find a little bit weird because he's the one who said to all of our friends and his family that we no longer together while I just stay quiet. And then he said on email that he feels so guilty about I lost my job & he offers a help but said if I don't need it he won't get in to my way ever again. Again, it's confusing. Until today I haven't replied his email. Because I still upset & angry to be honest. Why after everything that I've been through these past months & about to get better then he sent this confusing email. I thought maybe this is my closure after waiting his response for more than 2 month after he just left without saying anything. I think he's a little bit passive aggressive too though, and still don't know what he wants in life.

What you all think about this & what should I do? Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me analyze a bit first : I think you misinterpreted his showing off his new car. He was just trying to get your attention, he didn't mean to brag.

    The fact that your mutual friends let you know about him, means that he must have talked with them about how matters are with you, he does intend to get back together.

    It would be necessary to know who started the fight and how you got into it. If it was you who started it, he really can't do anything to calm you down, he says it's up to you because he can't change your sentiment toward him.
    He offered you financial help, because he must have cared about how you felt, if you didn't mean anything to him, he would have never made such a move.

    Even though you say he doesn't know what he wants in life, you should reply to his email, but keep it short like : "I don't know what to say, but I wanted to let you know that I got your email and have though about matters between us. I want you to be honest with me now, say what you have to say"

    (If this is not helpful, please bear in mind that I'm 10 years younger), that's what I'd do if I were you.

    • @DanHart nope, it was just the way he is. Shows it just to hurt me & he also went to endless holiday with different girls & add most of his exes back on social media. Thats why I removed him for good. I don't need such drama at these times.

      We shared lots of mutual friends because we went to the same university & still in contact with most of them.

      He feels guilty and wants to help but it's a bit late isn't it? Where he was when I need him to solve our problems :|

      I think the email replies it's quite good though :) But I still don't want to reply it anytime soon. Maybe next week or months lol.

    • Show All
    • Don't you think if I reply his email let say next week, he would just think "okay, I got my closure. Thats it"
      Well if that's happen, it'll be easier for me to know what should I do next, right? :|

    • yes, you are right, it will be much easier to know what to do then. No offense, but he seems like a coward to me based on what you've said.

      If you truly mean something to him, he will write something elaborate where he states his position toward you.
      (If he doesn't, he might want you to do the work, because he's not certain about whether you want him back too )

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well you guys should have a talk about the issue that made him leave. His reactions was bad. But what was the argument about? If you want to get back with him you guys need to resolve that issue.

    So basically have a talk.

    Guys can be selfidh and I don't aprove him leaving you when you were going through such hard times. If you want to get back with him, because that's what he is saying, can you have trust in him or will he disappear the next time your argue?

    Ask yourself if you are willing to take that risk and if you are talk to him about it, CALMLY

    • Thanks @momis84 the argument was about him postponed our wedding just because he wants a new car & use some of our savings to get it. I was speechless.

      I still feel anger & resentment towards him although it's been months. Thats why I still quiet & not contacting him although he sent me email.

    • Postponing the marriage to buy a car? OMG !

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just send him this.."fuck off forever"


What Girls Said 2

  • Wow... So you blame him for all of this when you were the one not trying to get in contact either? I think that in your late 20's you both need to get a grip and grow up. Sorry but I am at that stage in life where it angers me that people break up for stupid reasons. If you love each other its all that matters.

    A team does not blame each other for their mistakes, they take one on the chin for the sake of their relationship. A good relationship consists of 2 team players. If you play the blame game you become so focussed on who did what and to who it becomes a childish playground argument.

    That being said, you need to discuss calmly (not run away from) any problems and find a way through it together. A Partner should hold your hand down the path of life, you shouldn't be pushing and shoving your way to the finish line, that would just be exhausting!!!

    My advice? Admit you BOTH made mistakes and move on. Address his insensitivity if you must but he will tell you a few home truths too. If you love him and want to fix it then calmly do so, otherwise please learn this lesson for next time x

    • Exactly, if there is something you don't approve of, like a habit of his, talk it through with him without judging him, but be honest. You need to talk if there is an issue like this and not just distance yourself without letting him know what's going on

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    • What an idiot! Been there done that, I hate it so much. I feel you!

      "My son is always right!" Attitude not gonna take those mums anywhere. And their sons should go learn some basic manners. God, it's annoying! :(

    • oh she's a bitch, even banned me from his dads wake in June.

  • The both of you left each other without saying anything. You can't put the blame on him like this when the both of you staying silent are the reason you haven't been in touch. You could have reached out to him too, right? But you didn't. So you're just as much at fault as he is, don't put all of the blame on him as if you had nothing to do with it.
    It's really not confusing at all. He heard about your situation and felt bad. Probably wonders why things ended the way they did. It seems like he cares because he wants to help you. Why don't you reply back?


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